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Balls Removed

Stress on the golf course

Balls Removed thanks to Roy Bishop

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Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

I'm a golfer, not an athlete. - Lee Westwood

The gods play games with men as balls. - Titus Maccius Plautus

Golf, like measles, should be caught young. - P G Wodehouse

When I die, bury my balls next to my old bag. - Unknown

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Are we playing Men's Rules today or do we count every putt? - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

Real golfers don't cry when they line up their fourth putt. - Unknown

Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well. - Unknown

When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. - Unknown

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. - Dwight D Eisenhower

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

One advantage of golf over bowling is that you never lose a bowling ball. - Don Carter

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Golf is the worst drug in the world. You just keep coming back fro more embarrassment. - Deacon Jones

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

Sometimes the game of golf is just too difficult to endure with a golf club in your hands. - Bobby Jones

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

They say that life is a lot like golf - don't believe them. Golf is a lot more complicated. - Gardner Dickinson

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Of all the useless things a person can do, limerick writing is right up there with golf and fishing. - Garrison Keillor

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

I could juggle anything in my day: balls, cigar boxes, knives. But I could never juggle my income tax. - WC Fields

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

The rules of clockwork might apply to familiar objects such as snooker balls, but when it comes to atoms, the rules are those of roulette. - Paul Davies

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


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