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Future Corrections Officer

Where playground security takes bottom priority

Future Corrections Officer thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

Fair speech may hide a foul heart. - JRR Tolkien

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

Just pray for a tough hide and a tender heart. - Ruth Graham

Don't hide your scars. They make who you are. - Frank Sinatra

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. - Zora Neale Hurston

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment. - Harry Banks

Words were not given to man in order to conceal his thoughts. - Jose Saramago

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

It is a great ability to be able to conceal one's ability. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

I have fallen in love with someone who is hiding inside of you. - Hafiz

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Hopefully, kids realize you can do anything you want. Skateboarding can be that gateway. - Ryan Sheckler

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


Scottish Haircut

The Definition Of Old

Redneck Pool Table

Clint Eastwood

Playing Through

Island Music

Arch Enemies

Firemen's Revenge

Pipeline Security

Gun Exhaust

Canadian Food Chain

Flintstone Drum Set

Bird Cage Illness

Grasping Shirt

Lip Clouds

Key Frame

Texas Office Chair

IKEA Food Size

It's A Cracker

Construction Clouds

Milk Conversion

Basketball Cake

Nintendo Auto Correct

Too Soon