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Future Corrections Officer

Where playground security takes bottom priority

Future Corrections Officer thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
The height of cleverness is to conceal it. - Duc de la Rochefoucauld

Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place. - Zora Neale Hurston

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment. - Harry Banks

I have fallen in love with someone who is hiding inside of you. - Hafiz

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. - Jack Nicholson

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

There is one difference between a tax collector and a taxidermist - the taxidermist leaves the hide. - Mortimer Caplan

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one. - Archie Bunker

A woman, especially if she has the misfortune of knowing anything, should conceal it as well as she can. - Jane Austen

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

Here lies my past.
Good-bye I have kissed it;
Thank you, kids.
I wouldn’t have missed it. - Ogden Nash

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term. - Mark Twain

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

My life was going to flash before my eyes, but it decided to hide behind my eyes and quake with terror instead. - Sarah Rees Brennan

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

One of the fondest expressions around is that we can't be the world's policeman. But guess who gets called when suddenly someone needs a cop. - General Colin Powell


Crayola Keyboard

Turtle Leash

Beach Trick - Head's Up

Turbo Charged Computer

Redneck Neighborhood Watch

Time To Hang Up The Thong

Our Grate Lord

Vertical Roller Coaster Ride

Girl's Party

Sleep Driving

Portuguese Airport Runway

Nintendo Wedding Cake

Going Nowhere Mall

Skateboard Suit

Texas Truck

Tailgate Coyote

Montreal Canadian Fan

Canadian Man Cave

Puffin Walk

Wine Gum Lamp

Stepladder Bike

Prison Escapee's Not-Quite-Clean Escape

Heh - That's My Ball!

Revenue Canada's Simplified Tax Form