#1 humor site on the 'net

African Lunch

Unexpected guests for a bush pilot

African Lunch thanks to Ron Shaw

You are a bush pilot in the African veldt. You fly in some critical medical supplies and enjoy a quick lunch at the hospital. You are eager to make your next appointment. You return to the plane to find that the only shade around has become very popular ...

QuotaBills
When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it. - Mark Twain

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

When spiderwebs unite, they can halt even the lion. - African Proverb

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. - Mel Brooks

He imagines a necessary joy in things that must fly to eat. - Wendell Berry

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

I think being a dragon would be pretty awesome... you get to fly. - Josh Keaton

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Sharks are the lions of the sea. They glamorize the oceanic glory. - Munia Khan

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

If God had intended us to fly, He would never have given us railways. - Michael Flanders

Our Air Corps reunion was held to rememmorate the great things we done. - Archie Bunker

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. - Walter Winchell

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Education doesn't change life much. It just lifts trouble to a higher plane of regard. - Robert Frost

I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly under-polluted. - Lawrence Summers

My tent doesn't look like much but it is air-conditioned and has exceptional location. - Fennel Hudson

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on the fly-swatter. - G.C. Lichtenberg

Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard, there is nothing you can do. - Golda Meir

We breathe air, trees make air, homework kills trees, therefore homework is going to kill us all. - Unknown

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. - Dorothy Parker

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings. - J.M. Barrie

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Faithfulness is essential to the character of a friend: without this there can be no safety in intimacy with and confidence in him. - Samuel Hopkins

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

I'll love you, dear, I'll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street. - W H Auden


Tulip Snowpath

New Audi

Tower of Hammocks

Family Birthday Reminder

Dead Batteries

Ostrich Bush

Tetris Cake

T-Rex Shadow

Ordnance Table

Wine Bibber

Redneck Wireless Selfie

Tylenol Ban

GoosePrints

Louisiana Potholes

Cheers!

Billy Goat Gruff

Girlfriend Math

Coffee Days

Marathon Runner Tip

Seaweed Burger

Blinker Fluid

Doc In A Box

One At A Time

Life And Beer Are Very Similar