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Hole In One

A turtle's target practice on the golf course

Hole In One thanks to Stan Kay

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Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Golf is a puzzle without an answer. - Gary Player

Where there's a Will there's a Fairway. - Unknown

Forget your opponents; always play against par. - Sam Snead

Golf is an easy game, it's just hard to play. - Unknown

Real golfers don't miss putts, they get robbed. - Unknown

Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. - Bruce Feiler

If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out. - Paul Gallico

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. - H G Wells

Hold me, grip me, cherish me, pretend that I'm a golf club! - Unknown

If it weren't for golf, I'd probably be a caddie today. - George Archer

A lie travels round the world while truth is putting her boots on. - French proverb

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course. - Billy Graham

I got a new set of golf clubs for my husband. Best trade I ever made. - Unknown

Behold the turtle. He only makes progress when he sticks his neck out. - James Bryant Conant

Golf is a game in which you yell fore, shoot six, and write down five. - Paul Harvey

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

They call it golf because all of the other four-letter names were taken. - Ray Floyd

I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald R. Ford

In golf as in life, it's the follow-through that makes the difference. - Unknown

Show me a good loser and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss. - Unknown

He writes so well he makes me feel like putting the quill back in the goose. - Fred Allen

I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill. - George Burns

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. - Alex Haley

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. - Mark Twain

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

I do know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words together. - Charles Dickens

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place the world is when one is playing golf. - Robert Lynd

Dentist: a prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coin out of your pocket. - Ambrose Bierce

I played golf. I didn't get a hole in one, but I did hit a guy. That's way more satisfying. - Mitch Hedberg

Don't you just hate it when you try to think of something other than golf... and you can't? - Mike Purkey

The reason your golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so that you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. - Bertrand Russell

Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf. - Unknown

Golf is like a love affair: If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. - Arthur Daley

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

Learning to play golf is like learning to play the violin. It's not only difficult to do, it's very painful to everyone around you. - Hal Linden

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles. - Chi Chi Rodriguez


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