#1 humor site on the 'net

One Glass Per Day

Drinking in moderation?

One Glass Per Day thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. - Anton Chekhov

Happiness. Simple as a glass of chocolate or tortuous as the heart. Bitter Sweet. Alive. - Joanne Harris

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

There are three words I like to repeat to myself: glass half full. Just to remind myself to be grateful for everything I have. - Goldie Hawn

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


Winter Hotrod

Largest Fiddle In The World

Bottle Curtains

Niger River Crocodile

Cat Nap Cuties

Frog Parking

Must Return Shopping Cart

Largest Flower In The World

Sunday Weather Forecast

Why Men Need Post-It Notes

Rough Skinned Newt

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Patriots Air Pressure

Texas Wal-Mart Shopper

Beetle Bike

Bear Pinata

Very Fat Burger

Thailand Model Truck - With Air Conditioner

Roller Coaster Skiing

New Lighting Standard for Apartment Buildings

Carpet Diet

Canadian Fast Food

Manitoba Home Security System

Walk Sign Ending