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Cat Got Your Tail?

Holding on to a good-ride diaper

Cat Got Your Tail? thanks to Rita Ewert

Kitten for sail

QuotaBills
When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. - Mark Twain

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

When rats infest the palace, a lame cat is better than the swiftest horse. - Chinese Proverb

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

If we would listen to our kids, we'd discover that they are largely self-explanatory. - Robert Brault

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China! - Jarod Kintz

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week. - Will Rogers

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

I will be deafer than the blue-eyed cat, And thrice as blind as any noonday owl, To holy virgins in their ecstasies. - Lord Alfred Tennyson

A tom cat hijacked a plane, stuck a pistol into the pilot's ribs and demanded, "Take me to the Canaries." - Bob Monkhouse

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


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