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Cat Got Your Tail?

Holding on to a good-ride diaper

Cat Got Your Tail? thanks to Rita Ewert

Kitten for sail

QuotaBills
A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Thank God kids never mean well. - Lily Tomlin

All cats appear grey in the dark. - English Proverb

After dark, all cats are leopards. - Zuni Proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

A cat bitten once by a snake dreads even rope. - Arab Proverb

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

I'm Southern, so alligator tail is pretty interesting and yummy. - LeAnn Rimes

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

Tell her I ain't crawlin' home to her with my tail between her legs. - Archie Bunker

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween. - Unknown

All kids need is a little help, a little hope, and somebody who believes in them. - Earvin "Magic" Johnson

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back. - Will Rogers

It is better to be a mouse in a cat's mouth than a man in a lawyer's hands. - Spanish Proverb

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair. - Jarod Kintz

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer


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