#1 humor site on the 'net

Newfie Cab Driver - Can You Guess His Number?

Something that does grow on trees in Newfoundland

Newfie Cab Driver - Can You Guess His Number? thanks to Martin Grosse

QuotaBills
In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. - Laurence Peter

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. - H L Mencken

The great instrument of moral good is the imagination. - Percy Bysshe Shelley

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

The imagination is the secret and marrow of civilization. - Henry Ward Beecher

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Work keeps at bay three great evils: boredom, vice and need. - Voltaire

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

I have too many fantasies to be a housewife. I guess I am a fantasy. - Marilyn Monroe

There are three kinds of falsehoods, lies, damned lies and statistics. - Arthur James Balfour

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future. - Charles F. Kettering

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it, sometimes three. - Alexandre Dumas

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funnybone. - Reba McEntire

Film is one of the three universal languages, the other two: mathematics and music. - Frank Capra

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life. - Adele Brookman

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure. - Scott Adams

First thing every morning before you arise say out loud, "I believe," three times. - Ovid

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

What your mind sees when you close your eyes marks the entrance to an endless universe: your imagination. - Stephen Helmes

I refuse to believe in three things: cash, clock, and calendar. You should never be enslaved by these three. - Sharad Sagar

The mathematician is entirely free, within the limits of the imagination, to construct what worlds he pleases. - J.W.N. Sullivan

I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. - Arthur C. Clarke

All cartoon characters and fables must be exaggeration, caricatures. It is the very nature of fantasy and fable. - Walt Disney

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. - Joseph Addison

It's true Fang and I fight, but we've never gone to bed mad. Of course, one year we were up for three months. - Phyllis Diller

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours. - Milton Berle

The poet is in command of his fantasy, while it is exactly the mark of the neurotic that he is possessed by his fantasy. - Lionel Trilling

The most dangerous person of the world is a member of the United States Congress just home from a three-day fact-finding trip. - Johnny Isakson

One supreme fact which I have discovered is that it is not willpower but imagination that creates. Imagination creates reality. - Richard Wagner

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

You will recognize your own path when you come upon it because you will suddenly have all the energy and imagination you will ever need. - Sara Teasdale

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash


Shoelusion

Almost Done

Swim Vacation

Foot Circle

Sumo Fault

Psychic Fair

Bread Dress

Cherry Picker

PMS Center

The Ass Family

Surf Lessons

Diet Water

Proof of Global Warming

Electricity Storage

Socket To Me

Snail Time

Segway Stroller

Wine Worms

Bear Surveillance

Move Over

Guard Roos

Rich Man's Hobby

Illusive Dice

Rainbow Eucalyptus Trees