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Only In Texas

They do things differently in Texas

Only In Texas thanks to Karl Schneider

Only In Texas thanks to Karl Schneider

QuotaBills
Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

All mothers have intuition. The great ones have radar. - Cathy Guisewite

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

Texas is a hotbed of insanely good bands and musicians. - Henry Rollins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

Life is like a horse - either you ride it or it rides you. - Unknown

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight, and bull-strong. - Unknown

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

The only thing worse than beating a dead horse is betting on one. - Relient K

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

In Texas it's always hot, dry, sunny, not a cloud in the sky. - Piper Perabo

The wagon rests in winter, the sleigh in summer, the horse never. - Yiddish Proverb

I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist. - George Carlin

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

All music is folk music. I ain't never heard no horse sing a song. - Louis Armstrong

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - George Carlin

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called 'walking.' - George W. Bush

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races. - Mark Twain

Democracy is very different in U.S. and A. from Kazakhstan. In America, woman can vote, but horse cannot! - Borat Sagdiyev

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Women are like the police. They could have all the evidence in the world, but they still want the confession. - Chris Rock

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze


Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball

Big Hands Baby

Fire Truck Sinkhole

Cyclist Mailbox

Tearable Puns

Penmanship

Tree Removal