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Redneck Palm Pilot

Bubba's fail-safe message system

Redneck Palm Pilot thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

I took the initiative in creating the internet. - Al Gore

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Man is still the most extraordinary computer of all. - John F Kennedy

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

The internet turns 30 minutes of homework into 2 hours of homework. - Unknown

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. - Santosh Kalwar

On the keyboard of life always keep one finger on the 'escape' key. - Unknown

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

Please leave my computer alone. The only cookies I want to get are the ones I can eat. - Heather Wolf

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

The Internet has turned what used to be a controlled, one-way message into a real-time dialogue with millions. - Danielle Sacks

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Word-of-mouth marketing has always been important. Today, it's more important than ever because of the Internet. - Newt Barrett

I don't like creating software anymore. It's too exact. It's like karate; there's no room for error. - John Maeda

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

Until Facebook came along, there was hardly anywhere on the public Internet where you had to operate with your real name. - David Kirkpatrick

My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. - Penn Jillette

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

For the past 10 years, corporations have been trained that they should use all the different media. But the Internet is becoming the umbrella. - Larry Weber

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright

The problem with the internet is that it gives you everything - reliable material and crazy material. So the problem becomes, how do you discriminate? - Umberto Eco


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