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Five Stages of a Female's Life

Are you growing up or slimming down?

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

1. To Grow Up

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

2. To Fill Out

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

3. To Slim Down

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

4. To Hold It In

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

5. To Heck with it...

QuotaBills
Women and elephants never forget. - Dorothy Parker

Well-behaved women never make history. - Maria Shriver

Americans like fat books and thin women. - Russell Baker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

A woman's work is never done - by men. - Unknown

Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. - Archie Bunker

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. - Irina Dunn

Women want love to be a novel. Men, a short story. - Daphne du Maurier

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - Jim Carrey

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

Irene Lorenzo, queen of the Women's Lubrication Movement. - Archie Bunker

A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. - Arnold Haultain

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Sometimes I consider myself as a feminist, whatever that means. - Sarah Palin

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. - Groucho Marx

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking. - Virginia Woolf

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. - James Stephens

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. - H L Mencken

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Unknown

That woman speaks eighteen languages and can't say no in any of them. - Dorothy Parker

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. - Oliver Herford

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men and women are created equal. - Elizabeth Cady Stanton

A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on. - Oscar Wilde

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

And what is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing. - Geoffrey Chaucer

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her. - Oscar Wilde

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you. - Groucho Marx

One of the few articles of clothing that a man won't try to remove from a woman is an apron. - Marilyn Vos Savant

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

The expression a woman wears on her face is far more important than the clothes she wears on her back. - Dale Carnegie

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men - they are far superior and always have been. - William Golding

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

If women want any rights more than they got, why don't they just take them and not be talking about it? - Sojourner Truth

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and honesty are written across her face, she will be beautiful. - Eleanor Roosevelt

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife. - Groucho Marx

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. - Lana Turner

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong? - George Carlin

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. - Oscar Wilde

Of the two lots, the woman's lot of perpetual motherhood, and the man's of perpetual babyhood, I prefer the man's. - Bernard Shaw

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. - Steve Martin

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

From a shy, timid girl I had become a woman of resolute character, who could no longer be frightened by the struggle with troubles. - Anna Dostoevsky

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Feminism isn't about making women stronger. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength. - G.D. Anderson

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


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Little Johnny Bath

Emergency Stops Only

Portable Balance Beam

Fried Eggs - Military Style

Motorvation

Teenage Mutant Ninja Hay Bail

Driving Rain

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Got Them All

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Motorcycle Limo

Runaway Tree

Human Explosion

Air Force Pilots

See You Later

Lunch Admirers