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Five Stages of a Female's Life

Are you growing up or slimming down?

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

1. To Grow Up

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

2. To Fill Out

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

3. To Slim Down

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

4. To Hold It In

Five Stages of a Female's Life thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

5. To Heck with it...

QuotaBills
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman. - Virginia Woolf

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a net. - Cynthia Heimel

A man's only as old as the woman he feels. - Groucho Marx

Behind every good woman is a lot of chocolate. - Unknown

Chocolate: God's apology to women for periods. - Unknown

Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal. - Steve Rubenstein

When a woman is openly bad she is then at her best. - Latin Proverb

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

Man can not live on chocolate alone.... but women can. - Unknown

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. - George Carlin

We're women. We have a double standard to live up to. - Ally McBeal

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. - Walt Disney

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. - Ambrose Bierce

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. - Mark Twain

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. - Will Rogers

How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them. - Groucho Marx

A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes. - Joseph Addison

Love is what happens to men and women who don’t know each other. - W Somerset Maugham

I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. - Tony Curtis

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

The testimony of a woman has only half the value of the testimony of a man. - Iranian Penal Code

Blessed be Thou, our God and Lord of Hosts, who has not created me a woman. - Jewish Prayer

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. - WC Fields

No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. - Oscar Wilde

Menopause is our chance to say, "I am woman - open a freaking window." - Unknown

The most beautiful makeup for a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy. - Yves St. Laurent

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. - Jean-Paul Belmondo

Women have a hard enough time in this world; telling them the truth would be too cruel. - H L Mencken

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

When once a woman has given you her heart, you can never get rid of the rest of her body. - John Vanbrugh

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him. - Cher

The true republic: men, their rights and nothing more; women, their rights and nothing less. - Franklin P Adams

Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are. That is the difference between the sexes. - Oscar Wilde

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - Dumas

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age; a woman who would tell one would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with the word 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" - Arnold Schwarzenegger

There goes a woman who knows all the things that can be taught and none of the things that cannot be taught. - Coco Chanel

Remember, we're fighting for this woman’s honor, which is probably far more than she's ever done! - Groucho Marx

For twenty-four years I've been in love with the same woman. If my wife ever finds out, she'll kill me. - Henny Youngman

I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything. - Oscar Wilde

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

The scorn men express for a male who does housework is exceeded only by their aversion to a woman who doesn't. - Penny Kome

At present, our country needs women's idealism and determination, perhaps more in politics than anywhere else. - Shirley Chisholm

I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out. - Dolly Parton

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Men have trouble dealing with a woman in a position of authority. I've never had trouble with a woman in any position. - Sam Malone

I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my women are more beautiful. - Donald Trump

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

Love is the thing that enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots. - Hoosier Farmer

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her worst fears would come true. - Jennifer Castle

The widening of woman's sphere is to improve her lot. Let us do it, and if the world scoff, let it scoff - if it sneer, let it sneer. - Lucy Stone

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to "the best woman a man ever had." The waiter joined me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Being with a woman all night never hurt no professional baseball player. It's staying up all night looking for a woman that does him in. - Casey Stengel

All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. - Arthur Schopenhauer

I'm finally starting to scratch the surface of what women want. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. - Mel Gibson


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