#1 humor site on the 'net

How A Dishwasher Really Works

Behind-the-scenes dog efficiently licks dirty dishes - for a fraction of the normal price!

How A Dishwasher Really Works thanks to Lesley Mercado

QuotaBills
Every dog has his day. - Unknown

The dog is the god of frolic. - Henry Ward Beecher

Keep a clean kitchen - dine out. - Unknown

Dogs never bite me. Just humans. - Marilyn Monroe

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

A dog has the soul of a philosopher. - Plato

The view only changes for the lead dog. - Norman O. Brown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffet

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

We're just sweeping dirty dishes under the rug. - Archie Bunker

Dogs can't operate an MRI machine but cats can. - Unknown

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. - Steven Wright

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

I can't clean house and save the world at the same time. - Unknown

The secret of my success was clean living and a fast outfield. - Lefty Gomez

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. - Wendy Liebman

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P Jones

The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes. - Agatha Christie

Let everyone sweep in front of his door and the whole world will be clean. - Mother Teresa

The body is your temple. Keep it pure and clean for the soul to reside in. - B.K. Iyengar

Why can't a woman be more like a dog, huh? So sweet, loving, attentive. - Kirk Douglas

I look like a real bag lady when I go to Starbucks with my dog and get my chai. - Shirley MacLaine

A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself. - Josh Billings

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. - Christopher Hampton

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around. - Unknown

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. - George Burns

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

People can say what they like about the eternal verities, love and truth and so on, but nothing's as eternal as the dishes. - Margaret Mahy

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

Among God's creatures two, the dog and the guitar, have taken all the sizes and all the shapes, in order not to be separated from the man. - Andres Segovia

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Making Hockey More Popular

Suitcase WorkPlace

One-Knight Stands

Stealth Cell Phone Tower

Holes of the World

Sunken Bed

Australian Wildfire Survivor

Rat Toys

Radish Camouflage

Apple Art

Cake Finders

Shot Glasses

Frog Spout Security

Chopper Bicycle

Canadian Suntan

Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato