#1 humor site on the 'net

Milking Time On The Farm

Waiting For Hand-Outs

Milking Time On The Farm thanks to Phoebe Moll,Raub, North Dakota

QuotaBills
A meowing cat catches no mice. - Yiddish proverb

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Meow means "woof" in cat. - George Carlin

When the cat dies, the mice rejoice. - African saying

Why buy a cow if you can get the milk for free. - English Proverb

Have patience! In time, even grass becomes milk. - Charan Singh

Going to law is losing a cow for the sake of a cat. - Mark Twain

The kind man feeds his cat before sitting down to dinner. - Hebrew Proverb

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

Women's clothes: never wear anything that panics the cat. - P.J. O'Rourke

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out my nose. - Woody Allen

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life. - Faith Resnick

If the cat sits long enough at the hole, it will catch the mouse. - Irish proverb

Mrs. O'Leary's cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway. - Archie Bunker

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

A dog is a man's best friend. A cat is a cat's best friend. - Robert J Vogel

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

The trouble with a kitten is that when it grows up, it's always a cat. - Ogden Nash

Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you. - Mary Bly

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. - Garrison Keillor

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. - Groucho Marx

It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice. - Deng Xiaoping

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. - Mark Twain

Sleep is like my cat. I can call him by his name, but he still won't come to me. - Shane Koyczan

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. - Doug Larson

Without my Vulcan cat suit, Frankenstein wig and pointed ears, I don't get recognized. - Jolene Blalock

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there. - Charles Darwin

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Robert A. Heinlein

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. - Mark Twain

I asked the waiter, "Is this milk fresh?" He said, "Lady, three hours ago it was grass." - Phyllis Diller

I'm a farm boy. If we need five people to haul in hay, we don't take one and just work them to death. - Lincoln Davis

An actor is never so great as when he reminds you of an animal - falling like a cat, lying like a dog, moving like a fox. - Francois Truffaut

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles. - Steven Wright

Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes. - Tommy Douglas

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. - Mark Twain

When I hear of an 'equity' in a case like this, I am reminded of a blind man in a dark room - looking for a black cat - which isn't there. - Charles Bowen


Reaching The Ocean

Mexican Starfish

Mr. Tea

Spilled Milk

3D Bankrupty

Exhaust Condensation Reducer

Keet

Eat More Greens

Resting Bird

Car Seat Painting

Legal Disclosure

Bucket Nap

Double Vision

Car Moochanic

Humpback Kayak

Odor Detector

Braillik's Cube

Walking Tree

Pa Loves Women

Road Hugging Tire

Young German Fan

Best Retriever

Dementia Relations

Dyslexic Camper