#1 humor site on the 'net

Newfie Christmas Tree

A Newfie's true Spirit of Christmas!

Newfie Christmas Tree thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
It's a trap! - Admiral Ackbar

Lobster Greenberg - Archie Bunker

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

The world is your lobster! - Arthur Daley

Don't grow up - it's a trap! - Unknown

Raw lobster tail, freeze dried, is amazing. - Nathan Myhrvold

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail. - Ziad K. Abdelnour

The mouse that fears the trap has already been trapped. - Marty Rubin

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

There is no trap so deadly as the trap you set for yourself. - Raymond Chandler

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door. - Paul Beatty

Europe's the mayonnaise, but America supplies the good old lobster. - D.H. Lawrence

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I still have my Christmas Tree. I looked at it today. Sure enough, I couldn't see any forests. - Steven Wright

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Grilling outside with my parents at the Jersey shore. We would grill lobster and corn in the summer. - Bobby Flay

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I don't eat friggin' lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it. - Nicole Polizzi

That's why I don't eat lobster or anything like that. Because they're alive when you kill it. - Nicole Polizzi

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

Do not trap yourself into an owl's hooting sound
Where sad nights linger through the blackness of a hound - Munia Khan

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

It is, admittedly, a base foodstuff, but lobster, well prepared, can nevertheless be made to satisfy the distinguished gourmand. - Eli Brown

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

I'm fairly adventurous with my eating. I've tried kangaroo, and Moreton Bay bugs, which are a kind of lobster, are so good. - Brian O'Driscoll

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell


Sad TP

Concrete Guestrooms

Spiderman Face Cup

Tick, Tick Good Buddy

Waterfront Icons

Redneck Backhoe Operator

Shanty Town, New Zealand - Potty Pic

Modern Love Affair

Sleepmobile

Osoyoos Sasquatch

Wal-Mart Job Application

Wired Cars

Limit Of Two

Facebook Red Light

Suspended Bedroom

Boss Bird

Static Cat

Matching Receipt

Graffiti Removing Graffiti

How To Make Holy Water

Anti-Theft Car Device

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

Can You See It?

Bird Chocolate