Only in Las Vegas

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. - Unknown

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. - Mignon McLaughlin

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

You can't dance at two weddings at the same time; nor can you sit on two horses with one behind. - Yiddish Proverb

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

I think that weddings have probably been crashed since the beginning of time. Cavemen crashed them. You go to meet girls. It makes sense. - Christopher Walken

We are in a problem, and the problem is we are in a terrible sector... Las Vegas is overbuilt and doing badly, and we get pulled down by that. - Donald Trump

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst