Only in Las Vegas

Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. - Polish Proverb

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

The secret to a happy marriage? Do what your wife tells you. - Denzel Washington

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage." - Herbert Spencer

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

If you have a boat and a happy marriage, you don't need another thing. - Ed McMahon

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

Marriage is very difficult. It's like a 5,000-piece jigsaw puzzle, all sky. - Cathy Ladman

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. - Jay Leno

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle

I think that weddings have probably been crashed since the beginning of time. Cavemen crashed them. You go to meet girls. It makes sense. - Christopher Walken

We are in a problem, and the problem is we are in a terrible sector... Las Vegas is overbuilt and doing badly, and we get pulled down by that. - Donald Trump