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Secret For A Long, Happy Life

Learning to deal with stress

A passer-by noticed an old lady sitting on her front step. “I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What is your secret for such a long, happy life?”

“I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day,” she said. “Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends I pop a huge number of pills and do no exercise at all.”

Secret For A Long, Happy Life thanks to Henry Archibald

A lifetime of whiskey

“This is absolutely amazing at your age!” says the passer-by. “How old are you?”

“Twenty four.”

QuotaBills
The best things in life are silly. - Scott Adams

Sports is human life in microcosm. - Howard Cosell

Old age is like underwear, it creeps up on you. - Unknown

I must confess, I was born at a very early age. - Groucho Marx

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. - Ben Franklin

Life involves passions, faiths, doubts, and courage. - Josiah Royce

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

To enter life by way of the vagina is as good a way as any. - Henry Miller

A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. - Alfred Hitchcock

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me. - Unknown

Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late. - Benjamin Franklin

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

The great art of life is sensation; to feel that we exist, even in pain. - Lord Byron

There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way. - Christopher Morley

Success is when you look back at your life and the memories make you smile. - Phoebe L. Moll

People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness. - Raimonda

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. - Francis Bacon

Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies. - Ann Landers

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of time, like dew on the tip of a leaf. - Unknown

If I had my life to live over again, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring. - Unknown

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants. - Unknown

The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground. - G K Chesterton

You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life. - Winston Churchill

I have lived my life according to this principle: If I'm afraid of it, then I must do it. - Erica Jong

Somehow, throughout much of life, being old seems to be something that happens to other people. - Maggie Scarf

The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life. - William Morris

To do good things in the world, first you must know who you are and what gives meaning to your life. - Robert Browning

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. - George Bernard Shaw

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

The key to a better life isn't always a change of scenery. Sometimes it simply requires opening your eyes. - Richelle E. Goodrich

The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships. The quality of your business is no different. - Harvey Mackay

Like a morning dream, life becomes more and more bright the longer we live, and the reason of everything appears more clear. - Jean Paul Richter

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

If all our happiness is bound up entirely in our personal circumstances it is difficult not to demand of life more than it has to give. - Bertrand Russell

In this age of microblogging and two-second sound bites, almost no one has the attention span, or time, to read more than a few sentences. - Tim Frick

The want of logic annoys. Too much logic bores. Life eludes logic, and everything that logic alone constructs remains artificial and forced. - Andre Gide

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival. - C S Lewis

The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different. - Aldous Huxley

Freedom comes only to those who no longer ask of life that it shall yield them any of those personal goods that are subject to the mutations of time. - Bertrand Russell


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