#1 humor site on the 'net

Wallusion

Working one's way through the cracks

Wallusion thanks to Roy Taylor

QuotaBills
Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

The walls are the publishers of the poor. - Eduardo Gateano

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

There is Jackson, standing like a stone wall. - Bernard Bee

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet. - Steven Wright

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. - Ludwig Borne

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

I made a killing on Wall Street a few years ago. I shot my broker. - Groucho Marx

Some of my best friends are illusions. Been sustaining me for years. - Sheila Ballantyne

In Wall Street the only thing that's hard to explain is next week. - Louis Rukeyser

Our separation from each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. - Albert Einstein

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

The walls we build around us to keep sadness out also keeps out the joy. - Jim Rohn

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. - Coco Chanel

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw

Like the cosmetics industry, the securities business is engaged in selling illusion. - Paul Samuelson

The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon R. Dickson

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Brick walls are there for a reason. They give us a chance to show how badly we want something. - Randy Pausch

Most of us can read the writing on the wall; we just assume it's addressed to someone else. - Ivern Ball

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

How do you confuse a Kerryman?
Place three shovels against a wall and ask him to take his pick. - Unknown

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

Dreams or illusions, call them what you will, they lift us from the commonplace of life to better things. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached. - Simone Weil

Wall Street is the only place that people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway. - Warren Buffet

The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenements halls and whispered in the sounds of silence. - Paul Simon

Freedom has many difficulties and democracy is not perfect. But we have never had to put a wall up to keep our people in. - John F Kennedy

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

My writing philosophy is throwing spaghetti against the wall. That's how I take pictures, too. If I take 100, surely one will be good. - Amanda Peet

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - the Joe-kster


Double Line Parking

Without Government

Nose For Coke

Crisp Chips

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

Tipsy Crane

Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball