#1 humor site on the 'net

Wrong Way Train

Train derail-meant - your last train ride

Wrong Way Train thanks to Karen Moore

QuotaBills
The heart ages last. - Sylvester Stallone

Last will and tentacle - Archie Bunker

The last birthday that's any good is 23. - Andy Rooney

Last words are for fools who haven't said enough. - Karl Marx

When was the last time you did something for the first time? - Unknown

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki. - Nigel Starmer-Smith

May my last breath be drawn through a pipe and exhaled in a pun. - Charles Lamb

Quarrels would not last so long if the fault were only on one side. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The last mosquito that bit me had to check into the Betty Ford clinic. - Joanna Lumley

The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still on the list. - Unknown

I am a Marxist Leninist and I will be one until the last day of my life. - Fidel Castro

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge. - Darth Maul

If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can't they fly in space? - Valentina Tereshkova

All effort is in the last analysis sustained by faith that it is worth making. - Ordway Tead

I read the book of Job last night. I don't think God comes out well in it. - Virginia Woolf

The only time you don't fail is the last time you try anything - and it works. - William Strong

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year. - Marty Allen

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

Why is America the last best hope of Earth? What if it's Liechtenstein? Or, worse, Canada? - Sarah Vowell

I dreamt of you last night, as if I was playing the piano and you were turning the pages for me. - Vladimir Nabokov

In Pierre Elliott Trudeau, Canada has at last produced a political leader worthy of assassination. - Irving Layton

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French - surprised everybody, it was a Chinese restaurant. - Tommy Cooper

He is accelerating all the time. That last lap was run in sixty-four seconds, and the one before in sixty-two. - David Coleman

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go. - Brooks Atkinson

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. - Zig Ziglar

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87. - Steve Martin

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

I like thieves. Some of my best friends are thieves. Why, just last week we had the president of the bank over for dinner. - WC Fields

Sometimes, I feel I am really blessed to be blind because I probably would not last a minute if I were able to see things. - Stevie Wonder

When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let's say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. - Donald Trump

As long as the world shall last there will be wrongs, and if no man objected and no man rebelled, those wrongs would last forever. - Clarence Darrow

The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate. Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does. - Bill Vaughan

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon. - Kurt Vonnegut


Fell Years Ago

No Pot Of Gold

Krispy Kreme Waffles

Organic Pears

Hungry For Justice

Relationsheep

Quotes Matter

Latest Cell Phone

Sled Dog

Stratus Sphere

Driftwood Lion

Frost Flower

Where is Waldo?

Frigid Florida

Texas Cobra Boots

Autumn Download

Read The Fine Print

Thanksgiving Harvest Time

It's All About Attitude

Sauna Bar

The Importance Of Education

My Last Swim In The Ocean

Dog Tired After Work

Hammock Wine