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Chiropractor Mailbox

Mailbox design of the year - this'll crack you up!

Chiropractor Mailbox thanks to Bob Tasse

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I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

I think I can wipe out diabetes. - Robert Atkins

Good doctors make poor patients. - Unknown

Diabetes is caused by melancholy. - Thomas Willis

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Fashion saves a lot more lives than doctors. - Bruno Gehard

Space ails us moderns: we are sick with space. - Robert Frost

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease. - Archie Bunker

One should only see a psychiatrist out of boredom. - Muriel Spark

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

There are life-threatening issues related to diabetes. - Stephen Wallem

The doctor is often more to be feared than the disease. - French Proverb

There is no physician who can cure the disease of love. - African Proverb

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts. - Homer Simpson

A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion. - Martin H. Fischer

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

Psychiatrist: an M.D. who can't stand the sight of blood. - Unknown

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

A dentist at work in his vocation always looks down in the mouth. - George D. Prentice

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

I'm so ugly my mother had morning sickness - AFTER I was born. - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. - Groucho Marx

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable. - Mitch Hedberg

If a patient cannot clean his teeth, no dentist can clean them for him. - Martin H. Fischer

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

There's no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. - Bernard Williams

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

Observation, Reason, Human Understanding, Courage; these make the physician. - Martin H. Fischer

Financial ruin from medical bills is almost exclusively an American disease. - Roul Turley

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of the most medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

The doctors can cure all sorts of ills, except the shock of doctors' bills. - Unknown

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"? - George Carlin

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

The grinding of the intellect is for most people as painful as a dentist's drill. - Leonard Woolf

People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt. - Seneca

If suffering brought wisdom, the dentist's office would be full of luminous ideas. - Mason Cooley

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

I'm having difficulty getting the doctors around here to sign the appropriate form. - Spike Milligan

Virus: a Latin word used by doctors to mean, "Your guess is as good as mine." - Unknown

Life is not over because you have diabetes. Make the most of what you have, be grateful. - Dale Evans

The latest thing in psychiatry is group therapy. Instead of couches, they use bunk beds. - Henny Youngman

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. - Laurence J Peter

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

A physician buries his mistakes, a dentist pulls them out, but a teacher has to live with them. - Unknown

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

I live at the dentist's. I'm on my third set of teeth that they put in with nails and screws. - Charles N. Reilly

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. - Flip Wilson

I've always been independent. I've always had courage. But I didn't always own my diabetes. - Mary Tyler Moore

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill. - Johnny Carson

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. - Rodney Dangerfield

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

You go to a psychiatrist when you're slightly cracked and keep going until you're completely cracked. - Unknown

Recommending gastric bypass as a national solution for our diabetes epidemic is bad medicine and bad economics. - Mark Hyman

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Being diagnosed with diabetes can be a very scary thing, and it can easily make your life stand still for a moment. - Charlie Kimball

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - O.S. Marden

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The trained nurse has become one of the great blessings of humanity, taking a place beside the physician and the priest. - William Osler

Each patient ought to feel somewhat the better after the physician's visit, irrespective of the nature of the illness. - Warfield Theobald Longcope

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

A physician is obligated to consider more than a diseased organ, more even than the whole man — he must view the man in his world. - Harvey Cushing

Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off of your life. Based on that math, I should have died in 1732. - Unknown

When enough people care about autism or diabetes or global warming, it helps everyone, even if only a tiny fraction actively participate. - Seth Godin

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville


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