#1 humor site on the 'net

Early Spring Planting Yields Extra Returns

Next time don't get so excited about visiting a nursery

Early Spring Planting Yields Extra Returns thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
I like perfume and flowers. - Donatella Versace

The Earth laughs in flowers. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Groundhog Day - think Spring! - Unknown

Every flower must grow through dirt. - Unknown

A root is a flower that disdains fame. - Kahlil Gibran

If winter comes, can spring be far behind? - Percy Bysshe Shelley

The deep roots never doubt spring will come. - Marty Rubin

An old man in love is like a flower in winter. - Portuguese Proverb

Spring work is going on with joyful enthusiasm. - John Muir

To shorten winter, borrow some money due in spring. - W.J. Vogel

If words were leaves, would you prefer fall or spring? - Jarod Kintz

There are always flowers for those who want to see them. - Henri Matisse

There are flowers everywhere, for those who bother to look. - Henri Matisse

Tennis: a sport in which even an unseeded player can flower. - Unknown

You can cut all the flowers but you cannot keep Spring from coming. - Pablo Neruda

No one flower can every symbolize this nation. America is a bouquet. - William Safire

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. - H L Mencken

Something in the air this morning made me feel like flying... Spring Flight - Eileen Granfors

Always it's Spring,and everyone's in love and flowers pick themselves. - e e cummings

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

Everything holds its breath except spring. She bursts through as strong as ever. - B.M. Bower

I enjoy the spring more than the autumn now. One does, I think, as one gets older. - Virginia Woolf

If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change. - Buddha

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet. - Albert Schweitzer

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

I want flowers, I don't want to text. What does that make me? What kind of dinosaur am I? - Jennifer Garner

Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. - Oscar Wilde

If Springtime crawls out of the wild mouths of flowers, then surely, Winter crawls out of mine. - Cecilia Llompart

The difference between a gun and a tree is a difference of tempo. The tree explodes every spring. - Ezra Pound

I would have brung you flowers too, but I read in a magazine that they suck up all the carbon monoxygen. - Archie Bunker

If people did not love one another, I really don't see what use there would be in having any spring. - Victor Hugo

I have gathered a posie of other men's flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is my own. - Michel de Montaigne

Humility before the flower at the timber line is the gate which gives access to the path up the open fell. - Dag Hammarskjold

I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug. Marijuana is a flower. God put it here. - Willie Nelson

It is always good to know, if only in passing, charming human beings. It refreshes one like flowers and woods and clear brooks. - George Eliot

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. - Anne Bradstreet

Or maybe spring is the season of love and fall the season of mad lust. Spring for flirting but fall for the untamed delicious wild thing. - Elizabeth Cohen


Chair Master

Killing Bugs

Alligator Ice

Dog Walker

Shanghai's Fullen Restaurant

Watts Wrong?

Beach Farmer

Facebook Wedding

Redneck Stealth Bomber

Lunch Anyone?

Coupon for Free Ride

How To Make A Deer Stand

Weather Forecast Toaster

Top-Heavy Truck with Afro Haircut

Hubcap Shine

Wooden Owl

One Way Repairs

Polar Breath

Nice Try, China

Enough Art Supplies

Earth Day Memories

Italian Fire Exit

Scottish Lawnmower

Self Confidence