#1 humor site on the 'net

Eye Examination Chart

Optometrist guide to what causes bad eyes

Get up from your chair and stand as far back as you can to read this...
Eye Examination Chart thanks to Ken Ward

QuotaBills
Who can blind lover's eyes? - Virgil

Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes. - William Shakespeare

One may have good eyes and yet see nothing. - Italian proverb

Weak eyes are fondest of glittering objects. - Thomas Carlyle

When Irish eyes are smiling, watch your step. - Gerald Kersh

A rich man is never ugly in the eyes of a girl. - French Proverb

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? - Groucho Marx

The buyer needs a hundred eyes, the seller not one. - George Herbert

Music isn't for the eyes - it's for the ears. - Adele

Besmooch the family name in the eyes of the community. - Archie Bunker

We must teach our children to dream with their eyes open. - Harry Edwards

If only we could pull out our brain and use only our eyes. - Pablo Picasso

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

Conjunctivitis dot com ... now there's a site for sore eyes. - Tim Vine

If you want to lead the people, you must first speak to their eyes. - Napoleon Bonaparte

You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. - Mark Twain

A man loses his illusions first, his teeth second, and his follies last. - Helen Rowland

When your life flashes before your eyes, make sure it's fun to watch. - MGM Grand Hotel

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

It's very strange when the life you never had flashes before your eyes. - Terri Minsky

I need the starshine of your heavenly eyes,
After the day's great sun. - Charles Hanson Towne

Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. - David Letterman

Wishes and fears are illusions, Dil Bahadur, not realities. You must practice detachment. - Isabel Allende

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

Open your eyes that you might see that all things are possible through you (with God's help). - Robert A. Schuller

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist but you have ceased to live. - Mark Twain

The key to a better life isn't always a change of scenery. Sometimes it simply requires opening your eyes. - Richelle E. Goodrich

When I first open my eyes upon the morning meadows and look out upon the beautiful world, I thank God I am alive. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

Men in general judge more from appearances than from reality. All men have eyes, but few have the gift of penetration. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I might show facts as plain as day: but, since your eyes are blind, you'd say, 'Where? What?' and turn away. - Christina Rossetti

You must mind and not lower the Church in people's eyes by seeming to be frightened about it for such a little thing. - George Eliot

Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes. - Unknown

You write to become immortal, or because the piano happens to be open, or you've looked into a pair of beautiful eyes. - Robert Schumann

The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space. - Marilyn Monroe

When you hear people making hateful comments, stand up to them. Point out what a waste it is to hate, and you could open their eyes. - Taylor Swift

Love easily confuses us because it is always in flux between illusion and substance, between memory and wish, between contentment and need. - Tom Robbins

I've never been able to grow an organ back," Lana said. "Last time I tried... Let's just hope you don't end up with whip eyes. - Michael Grant


Yoga Business Card

Co-Pilot Seat

Mom Lookout

2019 Hooters Owl & Birds of Prey Calendars (3)

ChristMoose Tree

Snowman Invasion

It's Too Cold To Ride Outside

Uncorked Wine

Cute Lion

Double Handicap

Abbo Monopoly

Door Wreath

Underwater Radar Trap

Escherlator

Safe Removals

Duck Heist - Ducks Gone Bad

Ice Hand

Invisible Homeless Man

African Meal on Wheels

Hair Notes

Ant Attack

Spotted Spotters

Different Drugs

Demo House For Sale