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Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Best Man's last prank on the Groom

Help Me Before It's Too Late! thanks to Pierre Belleau, Quebec

QuotaBills
I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

There is no perfect marriage, for there are no perfect men. - French Proverb

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife. - Shelley Winters

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Well, at least he has found his true love - what a pity he can't marry himself. - Frank Sinatra

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed. - Oscar Wilde

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

Marriage is like a beleaguered fortress: those who are outside want to get in, and those inside want to get out. - French Proverb

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him, "I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children." They leave skid marks. - Rita Rudner

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


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