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Help Me Before It's Too Late!

Best Man's last prank on the Groom

Help Me Before It's Too Late! thanks to Pierre Belleau, Quebec

QuotaBills
Marry money. - Max Shulman

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. - Ogden Nash

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Tenderness is greater proof of love than the most passionate of vows. - Marlene Dietrich

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. - G K Chesterton

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person. - Wilbert Donald Gough

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me. - Phyllis Diller

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? - Barbara Streisand

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller

Fraud in business is no different from infidelity in marriage or plagiarism in scholarly work. Even people committed to high moral standards succumb. - Miroslav Volf


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