#1 humor site on the 'net

Home Depot Delivery

I got a new part time job making deliveries

Home Depot Delivery thanks to Bryce Logan

This picture was taken by a Transportation Supervisor for a company that delivers building materials for 84 Lumber. When he saw it in the parking lot of IHOP, he went to buy a camera to take pictures. The car is still running (see the exhaust). The driver finally came back after the police were called, and was found crouched behind the rear of the car, attempting to cut the twine around the load. Luckily, the police stopped him and had the load removed.

The materials were loaded at Home Depot, where the customer was made to sign a waiver. While the plywood and 2X4's are fairly obvious, what you can't see is the back seat, which contains 10 bags of concrete @ 80 lbs. each. The estimated load weight was 3,000 lbs. Both back tires exploded, the wheels bent, and the rear shocks were driven through the floorboard.
QuotaBills
Stress makes you stupid. - Unknown

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid. - Terry Bradshaw

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. - Voltaire

I pay very heavy semi-annual premiums 4 times a year. - Archie Bunker

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Most of life is choices, and the rest is pure dumb luck. - Marian Erickson

I do not pray for a lighter load, but for a stronger back. - Philip Brookes

I was deaf and dumb and blind to all but me, myself and I. - Loretta Young

As your runway of life gets shorter, the lighter the load. - Joe Segal

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

You think I just drove in from Long Island on a load of turnips? - Archie Bunker

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

He really is terribly heavy going. Like running up hill in roller skates. - Alan Ayckbourn

It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it. - Lou Holtz

People think a Muslim has to have a turban or a big beard. It's stupid. - T-Pain

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

Books are as useful to a stupid person as a mirror is useful to a blind person. - Chanakya

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical. - Murray Walker

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

To be clever enough to get a great deal of money, one must be stupid enough to want it. - George Bernard Shaw

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

If you think your boss is stupid remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter. - Albert Grant

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. - George Carlin

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

Authority without wisdom is like a heavy axe without an edge, fitter to bruise than to polish. - Anne Bradstreet

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong

Ghosts have a way of misleading you; they can make your thoughts as heavy as branches after a storm. - Rebecca Maizel

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis. - Unknown

I think the shocking thing to discover is the owls are not stupid and very feral, very hard to train. - Robbie Coltrane

I do know what my first meal in the next world would be: Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, heavy on everything. - Rachael Ray

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people. - Donald Trump

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive, but do not forget. - Thomas Szasz

A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell. - WC Fields

What sounds to you like a big load of trashy noise... is in fact... the brilliant music of a genius... myself. - Iggy Pop

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

They should have little disclaimer that says, "Do not operate heavy machinery while watching this show!" - Robin Williams

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

We're all trying to keep up in this stupid race. But that won't be much fun when we're floating in space. - John Symeou

No oppression is so heavy or lasting as that which is inflicted by the perversion and exorbitance of legal authority. - Joseph Addison

The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt. - Bertrand Russell

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady, and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. - P.J. O'Rourke

If one can only see things according to one's own belief system, one is destined to become virtually deaf, dumb, and blind. - Robert A. Wilson

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. - Jim Henson

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

These are stupid people that say, "Oh didn't Trump declare bankruptcy? Didn't he go bankrupt?" I didn't go bankrupt. - Donald Trump

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright


Walkway To Heaven

Groucho Marx and Jimmy Savile

Despicable Shoes

Prayer Conditioning

Lazy People Make Excellent Engineers

Spaghetti Western

Under The Weather

Backpack Barney

My Sweet Potato

Who Needs a Guard Dog?

My Next Life

Mouse Insider

Close Ups

Redneck Camera Phone

Mega Samurai Sudoku Puzzles

Redneck Cupboard

Homeless Signs

Floor Store

Mary Go Round

City Beach Castle

Rescue Pup

Your Meal Is Ready

Bicycle Water Bottle Holder

iHat