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Opinion Scale

Finding the perfect gift for her

Three men are sitting at a bar. The first says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds - I bought her a nice Porsche.”

The second guy says, “I bought something which goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds - a nice red Ferrari.”

The third one says, “I bought my wife something which goes from 0 to 200 IN JUST 2 SECONDS!”

Opinion Scale thanks to Shawn Kennedy

QuotaBills
A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

These are cathedrals of shopping. - Emile Zola

You can never be too rich or too thin. - Wallis W Simpson

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. - Richard Bach

Have great, secret, big, fat hopes for yourself. - Gloria Vanderbilt

Anybody who doesn't like this book is healthy. - Groucho Marx

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Praise is the only gift for which people are really grateful. - Marguerite

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. - Bruce Barton

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

A gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself. - Mae West

The key to a healthy lawn is to take care of what happens below ground. - Mike Bechtle

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than a healthy, wise old man. - Lin Yutang

When women are mad or depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler

It is one thing to be gifted and quite another thing to be worthy of one's own gift. - Nadia Boulanger

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

Like the old adverb, "you can lead a gift horse to the water but ya can't look in his mouth." - Archie Bunker

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other. - Johnny Carson

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

Money isn't the most important thing in life, but it's reasonably close to oxygen on the "gotta have it" scale. - Zig Ziglar

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock


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