#1 humor site on the 'net

Pine Trees Know When It's Easter

Ever noticed the Pine tree crosses on Easter Sunday?

Pine trees start their new growth in the weeks before Easter - if you look at the tops of the Pine trees two weeks before, you'll see the yellow shoots. As the days get close to Easter Sunday, the tallest shoot will branch off and form a cross. By the time Easter Sunday comes around, you will see that most of the Pine trees will have small yellow crosses on all of the tallest shoots.
Pine Trees Know When It's Easter thanks to Joyce Welwood

QuotaBills
My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Trees often transplanted seldom prosper. - Flemish Proverb

The righteous will flourish like the palm tree. - Psalms 92:12

Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. - Ronald Reagan

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

There would be no Christmas if there was no Easter. - Gordon B. Hinckley

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

If you hate where you are, move - you are not a tree. - Unknown

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Easter is very important to me, it's a second chance. - Reba McEntire

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

You can't cross the sea merely by staring at the water. - Rabindranath Tagore

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. - Benjamin Franklin

I'm Jewish, so I don't know much about Easter eggs. - Simon Kinberg

He knows his olive trees better than he knows his children. - Rebecca Helm-Ropelato

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Cross-country skiing is great if you live in a small country. - Steven Wright

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it. - Dave Chappelle

We better not, ya know, kill our chickens before they cross the road. - Archie Bunker

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now. - Chinese Proverb

Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "what for?" - Steven Wright

Death is just a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees. - J.J. Furnas

The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn. - David Russell

Learn not to talk to me. You shake the tree, a leopard's going to fall out. - Kobe Bryant

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

This woman was so cross-eyed. She can go to a tennis match and never move her head. - Phyllis Diller

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. - Christopher Columbus

It will never rain roses. When we want to have more roses, we must plant more trees. - George Eliot

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

A cold wind was blowing from the north, and it made the trees rustle like living things. - George R.R. Martin

Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song. - Pope John Paul II

Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. - Bill Vaughan

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. - Thomas Jefferson

If you reveal your secrets to the wind, don't blame the wind for revealing them to the trees. - Unknown

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches awaiting Easter. - Fran Lebowitz

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. - David Lloyd George

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. - John Muir

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

It is unthinkable for a Frenchman to arrive at middle age without having syphilis and the Cross of the Legion of Honor. - Andre Gide

You can't be suspicious of a tree, or accuse a bird or a squirrel of subversion or challenge the ideology of a violet. - Hal Borland

When anyone asks me about the Irish character, I say look at the trees. Maimed, stark and misshapen, but ferociously tenacious. - Unknown

A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election. - Bill Vaughan

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed; if in terms of ten years, plant trees; if in terms of 100 years, teach the people. - Confucius

I glanced out the window at the signs of spring. The sky was almost blue, the trees were almost budding, the sun was almost bright. - Millard Kaufman

I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go. - Jarod Kintz

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

We would rather be ruined than changed. We would rather die in our dread than climb the cross of the moment and let our illusions die. - W H Auden

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Tea Party Weapon

Reading Talent

ParaPlane Ride

iArm

Instant Engine Starting Down Under

Shakespeare Pens

Car-nage

Drum Kit Chandelier

Standoff

New Man Group

Octopus Skateboarding

Sling Signs

Beauty Bag

Dodgy Ticker

Orcar

Eastwooding

Sandal Security

Folding Bike

Ladies Golf

Mommy's Diet

Goat Trick

Why The Dog Left

Sex Education in Saskatchewan

Unattended Children