#1 humor site on the 'net

Terrorist 'Catch and Release' Program

U.S. Navy releases terrorist in a truly humanitarian gesture

The U.S. Navy today announced that it has released a senior Al Quaeda terrorist after questioning his extensively for 27 days while being held prisoner aboard a U.S. aircraft carrier (USS Enterprise) in the Arabian Sea. In a humanitarian gesture, the terrorist was given $50 U.S. and a white 1965 Ford Fairlane automobile upon being released from custody. The attached photo (taken by Navy photographers aboard the Enterprise) shows the terrorist on his way home just after being released by the Navy. Advice has it that the Navy has 472 '65 Ford Fairlanes on inventory - ex staff cars...
Terrorist 'Catch and Release' Program thanks to Wally Zatylny

QuotaBills
Salivation Army - Archie Bunker

A good soldier is a poor scout. - Cheyenne Proverb

Love is a kind of military service. - Ovid

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

In war, there are no unwounded soldiers. - Jose Narosky

Skill and confidence are an unconquered army. - George Herbert

The army is the true nobility of our country. - Napoleon III

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. - Groucho Marx

I now close my military career and just fade away. - Douglas MacArthur

Marketing strategy is a lot like military strategy. - Liddell Hart

Soldiers win the battles and generals get the credit. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. - Marechal Ferdinand Foch

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar. - Unknown

We come not to mourn our dead soldiers, but to praise them. - Francis A Walker

Where some states have an army, the Prussian army has a state. - Voltaire

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. - Steven Wright

The early bird would never catch the worm if the dumb worm slept late. - Milton Berle

Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you. - John de Paola

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

A piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end. - George S Patton

Certain things catch your eye, but pursue only those that capture the heart. - Indian Proverb

Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. - Unknown

We are far more liable to catch the vices than the virtues of our associates. - Denis Diderot

Statistics have shown that mortality increases perceptibly in the military during wartime. - Alphonse Allais

There's an old saying, "Ya don't keep runnin' after you catch the bus." - Archie Bunker

Tart words make no friends: A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar. - Benjamin Franklin

It used to be that when all else failed, a guy went into the army; now he becomes a consultant. - Blackie Sherrod

Moses was the greatest legislator and the commander in chief of perhaps the first liberation army. - Elie Wiesel

The first who was king was a fortunate soldier: Who serves his country well has no need of ancestors. - Voltaire

Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones

I didn't know that painters and writers retired. They're like soldiers – they just fade away. - Lawrence Ferlinghetti

I have noted that the healthy release of emotion is frequently very unhealthy for those closest to you. - Mr Spock

I have a catch phrase: "You're fired," ... Don King has a catch phrase: "Not Guilty." - Donald Trump

I wouldn't describe myself as lacking in confidence, but I would say that the ghosts you chase you never catch. - John Malkovich

The U.S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself. - Benjamin Franklin

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one. - Albert Einstein

Through return to simple living comes release of desires. In release of desires, stillness is attained. In stillness the world is restored. - Lao Tzu

Your surfing can get better on every turn, on every wave you catch. Learn to read the ocean better. A big part of my success has been wave knowledge. - Kelly Slater


One At A Time

Life And Beer Are Very Similar

Redneck Speed Bump

Studley Tool Chest

Shopping With Your Husband

PEI Weather

Math Lab Bust

Political Floor

Redneck Winter Tires

Fish Fingers

Costco Beach Towel

Handwritting

Down Under Statue

Random Acts Of Kindness (RAK) Day

Detroit Discovery

Spit Priorities

Enjoy The View

Locks Of Love

So You Want A Day Off

Save A Tree

Dr. Hedgehog

Flower Frame Heels

I'll Be Right There

Frankfurt Subway Entrance