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Texas Divorce

It's OK to give away the mobile home, but NOT the pickup!

Dear Billy Bob,
As you know, my divorce was final yesterday, and in the divorce settlement, she was awarded the double-wide mobile home and my pickup truck.

Can you believe it? I expected her to get the double-wide, but having to give her my truck was just more than I could bear.

I had no choice, so as per the court order, I delivered the truck to her before 2:00 PM today.

I’m sure gonna miss that truck. I had to get a picture of it before it was gone forever.

If you need to get hold of me, I’ll be staying with my folks until I can find me a place.

Take care,
Bubba
Texas Divorce thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

The good lawyer is the great salesman. - Janet Reno

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

Law and order are not necessarily partners. - Saying

If you want peace, you must work for justice. - Pope Paul VI

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

A successful lawsuit is the one worn by a policeman. - Robert Frost

Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

The police must obey the law while enforcing the law. - Earl Warren

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. - Groucho Marx

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. - Boethius

It should be possible to explain the laws of physics to a barmaid. - Albert Einstein

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. - Ambrose Bierce

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. - Otto von Bismarck

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Recompense injury with justice, and recompense kindness with kindness. - Confucius

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

The laws of probability - so true in general, so fallacious in particular. - Edward Gibbon

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people together. - Unknown

Law school is the opposite of sex. Even when it's good it's lousy. - Unknown

I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset I'm not a widow. - Roseanne Barr

The only stable state is the one in which all men are equal before the law. - Aristotle

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

My mother-in-law has so many wrinkles, when she smiles she looks like a Venetian blind. - Les Dawson

My husband and I had our best sex during our divorce. It was like cheating on our lawyers. - Priscilla Lopez

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary? - Marion Barry

The practice of medicine occurs even in primitive society, but law accompanies civilization. - Saying

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

Once in a lifetime the longed-for tidal wave of justice can rise up, and hope and history rhyme. - Seamus Heaney

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. - Plato

When you say justice, it doesn't have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly. - Kanye West

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares? He's a mile away and you've got his shoes. - Billy Connolly

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Anyone who takes it on himself, on his own authority, to break a bad law, thereby authorizes everyone else to break the good ones. - Denis Diderot

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson


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