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Baby Chat

As a baby, the Joe-kster couldn't control his online demand

Baby Chat thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

'Love At First Byte' for the Joe-kster

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

You can't write poetry on the computer. - Quentin Tarantino

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. - Carl Sandburg

Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window. - Steve Wozniak

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. - Joan Rivers

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. - Ken Olson

If pregnancy were a book, they would cut the last two chapters. - Nora Ephron

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

Having a baby is like trying to push a grand piano through a transom. - Alice Roosevelt Longworth

A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love. - Stendhal

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

Baby: a loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other. - Ronald Knox

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines. - Bertrand Russell


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