#1 humor site on the 'net

Bad Day Flyer

When a soft landing can lead to a good meal

Bad Day Flyer thanks to Darwin McKee

QuotaBills
I got bigger fish to fly - Archie Bunker

Private jets cost a lot of money. - Donald Trump

There is no flying without wings. - French Proverb

Roasted pigeons will not fly into one's mouth. - Dutch Proverb

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly? - Frida Kahlo

You can't wait to buy a parachute when you need one. - Unknown

Luck is like having a rice dumpling fly into your mouth. - Japanese Proverb

The lion is ashamed, it's true, when he hunts with the fox. - Gotthold E. Lessing

The perils of duck hunting are great - especially for the duck. - Walter Cronkite

The sky is the limit only for those who aren't afraid to fly. - Bob Bello

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. - Arthur C. Clarke

We'd show an Alzheimer's survivor here, if there were one. - Unknown

Sharks are the lions of the sea. They glamorize the oceanic glory. - Munia Khan

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. - Walter Winchell

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

I love Halloween: the cold air, the spooky dangers lurking around the corner. - Evan Peters

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night? - Ally Condie

There are two kind of air travel in the United States, first class and third world. - Bobby Slayton

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth. - Chinese Proverb

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

A moose is an animal with horns on the front of its head and a hunting lodge wall on the back of it. - Groucho Marx

Caesar dreamed that he was flying above the clouds, and now that he was clasping the hand of Jupiter. - Suetonius

I don't like all this fresh air: I'm from Los Angeles; I don't trust any air I can't see. - Bob Hope

Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything. - Plato

I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I'm in a world of my own. - Muhammad Ali

Give me my golf clubs, fresh air, and a beautiful partner, and you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny

When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it. - Henry Ford

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put foundations under them. - Henry David Thoreau

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? - George Carlin

A nation that destroys its soils destroys itself. Forests are the lungs of our land, purifying the air and giving fresh strength to our people. - Franklin D Roosevelt

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet. - Rumi


Hooking Penalty

Zebra Bus Stop

Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Bee Prepared

Stolen Car

Paper Face

End Of The Line

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Sheep in Wool Clothing