#1 humor site on the 'net

Best Diet Ever

Study and research proves that THIS is the Best Diet Ever!

Best Diet Ever thanks to Wayne Nowazek

A friend of mine is a nurse and she talked to me about the Atkins Diet, Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and the latest of course, The South Beach Diet. Seems the major priority, people want to accomplish this year is to lose weight. Since she is a nurse, she has done a lot of study and research on dieting. I TRULY think she has found the real answer to weight loss... And it is so SIMPLE, I don't know why, more people don't try this option!

QuotaBills
Food tastes better when you wear it. - Erin Dealey

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Bacon bits are like fairy dust of the food community. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is. - Ireland Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

The rich would have to eat money if the poor did not provide food. - Russia Proverb

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food. - Will Ferrell

Fang drops so much food on his ties we keep them in the refrigerator. - Phyllis Diller

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

Your food is close to your stomach, but you must put it in your mouth first. - African Saying

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

An Englishman teaching an American about food is like the blind leading the one-eyed. - A.J. Liebling

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I need to tone up, as I eat a lot of fast food. I love Maccy D's, Subway and Domino's. - Amy Childs

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The automatic stabilizer is unemployment insurance, food stamps, additional coverage of Medicaid. - Franklin Raines

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

If fat people just gave skinny people more food, we could solve obesity and hunger at the same time. - Ashton Kutcher

Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation. - Homer Simpson

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. - Kelli Jae Baeli

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell


Made His Bed

Dog Sled

Only In Canada - Nosey Moose

Camper Tank

Plane Pushers

Wise Electricity Use

Critter Control

Redneck Ice Fishing

Skeletons In The Closet

Captive Audience Twins

Brew Table

Nailed It Baby

Water Supply

Holding His Own Portraits

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Chicken Pie

Computer Challenged

Swiss Reaper

Original Play Station

Haunted Pancakes

No Neck

Five Pound Note

Selena Stopmez

AirHeads