#1 humor site on the 'net

Free Trip To Heaven

Details on how to win a free trip to Heaven

Free Trip To Heaven thanks to Jutta Liesenfeld

QuotaBills
Order is Heaven's first law. - Alexander Pope

A star on earth - a star in heaven. - Karen Carpenter

Noble discontent is the path to heaven. - Thomas Higginson

A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - Sir John Bowring

Directly after God in heaven comes a Papa. - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven. - Karen Sunde

In heaven an angel is nobody in particular. - George Bernard Shaw

Seek not outside yourself, heaven is within. - Mary Lou Cook

Heaven never helps the man who will not act. - Sophocles

Heaven is home. Utopia is here. Nirvana is now. - Edward Abbey

Good girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere. - Helen Gurley Brown

In heaven all the interesting people are missing. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. - Mark Twain

Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads. - Henry David Thoreau

Every charitable act is a stepping stone toward heaven. - Henry Ward Beecher

If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going. - Jane Seabrook

Every man is as Heaven made him, and sometimes a great deal worse. - Miguel de Cervantes

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

Thank heaven for little girls, for little girls get bigger every day. - Allen Jay Lerner

A man's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a heaven for? - Robert Browning

Has anyone noticed that in heaven all the interesting men are missing? - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

In Heaven, chocolate has no calories and is served as the main course. - Unknown

They say marriages are made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. - Clint Eastwood

Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, but to be young was very heaven! - William Wordsworth

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there. - Martin Luther

They can keep their heaven. When I die, I'd sooner go to Middle Earth. - George R.R. Martin

May you be in Heaven a full half hour before the Devil knows you're dead. - Irish Toast

Music, the greatest good that mortals know and all of heaven we have hear below. - Joseph Addison

Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither. - C S Lewis

The mind is its own place, and it itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven. - John Milton

What clinical lectures I will give in heaven, demonstrating the ignorance of doctors! - Israel Zangwill

Surfing is the most blissful experience you can have on this planet, a taste of heaven. - John McCarthy

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. - Mark Twain

I'm going to smile, and my smile will sink down into your pupils, and heaven knows what it will become. - Jean-Paul Sartre

Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it, and Hell where they already have it. - Ronald Reagan

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 5:14-16

Earn all you can,
Spend all you can,
Save all you can,
But for heaven's sake,
Give all you can. - John Wesley

We are in the world to laugh. In purgatory or in hell we shall no longer be able to do so. And in heaven it would not be proper. - Jules Renard

If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. - Will Rogers

The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven.
And Saint Peter said, "Go back to Earth. There are no slums up here." - Mother Teresa


Trunk Drinkers

Foamtastic

Pyramid Kiss

What Goes Round Comes Round

Mistaken Door

Cleanup

Leave Toes Outside

Google Age

Meat Loaf

Heavy Sleeper

So Close

Economy Flight

StandOut Island

Poor Fishing Day

Is Your Diaper Full?

Lunch Break on a Hot Day

Moving Level Pro

Plain Plane School

Wireframe Dog

SUV Sinkhole

Wireless Doorbells Sitting On Their Chargers

Smoke Coolant

Front Row Seats

A Frayed Knot