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He Looks Just Like His Father!

When guys may want a 2nd delivery opinion

He Looks Just Like His Father! thanks to Darwin McKee

Is this Doc all he's quacked up to be?

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Baby lying in the bassinoot. - Archie Bunker

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The way a doctor writes out a subscription. - Archie Bunker

A baby is an inestimable blessing and a bother. - Mark Twain

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

You know, I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters. - Groucho Marx

Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last. - Charles Dickens

After your death, you will be what you were before your birth. - Arthur Schopenhauer

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Neither fire nor wind, birth nor death can erase our good deeds. - Buddha

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir. - Thomas Fuller

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he's a baby. - Natalie Wood

An ugly baby is a very nasty object, and the prettiest is frightful when undressed. - Queen Victoria

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. - Michael Caine

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines. - Frank Lloyd Wright

I wonder why you can always read a Doctor's bill but you can never read his prescription. - Finley Peter Dunne

When I go home, I play with my baby dolls and strollers and diaper bags, and play with my sisters. - Dakota Fanning

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

I never used to like babies. I'd always thought if a baby were more like a chimpanzee, I'd have one. - Candice Bergen

Even if the doctor does not give you a year ... make one brave push and see what can be accomplished in a week. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Our babies are like penguins; penguin babies can't exist unless more than one person is taking care of them. They just can't keep going. - Alison Gopnik


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