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He Looks Just Like His Father!

When guys may want a 2nd delivery opinion

He Looks Just Like His Father! thanks to Darwin McKee

Is this Doc all he's quacked up to be?

QuotaBills
Birth patrol pills. - Archie Bunker

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

No man is a good doctor who has never been sick himself. - Chinese Proverb

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it. - Frank A. Clark

There is no cure for birth and death, save to enjoy the interval. - George Santayana

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

I love you like crazy, baby
'Cuz I'd go crazy without you. - Pixie Foudre

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

Not the cry, but the flight of a wild duck, leads the flock to fly and follow. - Chinese Proverb

At the base and birth of every successful venture you will find an enthusiast. - Winston Churchill

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Having a baby is like falling in love again, both with your husband and your child. - Tina Brown

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

First the Doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. - Steve Martin

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

He who waits for a roast duck to fly into his mouth must wait a very, very long time. - Chinese Proverb

If newborn babies could speak they would be the most intelligent beings on planet earth. - Jaden Smith

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. - Will Rogers

The baby bat
Screamed out in fright,
'Turn on the dark,
I'm afraid of the light.' - Shel Silverstein

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood, I'd just type a little faster. - Isaac Asimov

Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved. - Mark Twain

I walk like a duck: very straight up and down. Or like a penguin. It's a dead giveaway that I'm a dancer. - David Hallberg

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Take two turkeys, one goose, four cabbages, but no duck, and mix them together. After one taste, you'll duck soup for the rest of your life. - Groucho Marx


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