#1 humor site on the 'net

Healthy Breakfast

Significantly reduce unwanted extra pounds

Healthy Breakfast thanks to Darwin McKee

QuotaBills
I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

Life is short. Eat cookies for breakfast. - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

Healthy citizens are the greatest asset any country can have. - Winston Churchill

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with experience. - Clarence Day

If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people. - Jim Eason

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

I phoned my Dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter. - Steven Pearl

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The two kinds of people on earth are the people who lift and the people who lean. - Unknown

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Logic is the hygiene the mathematician practices to keep his ideas healthy and strong. - Hermann Weyl

The shovels haven't arrived, and until they do, you'll have to lean on each other. - Unknown

Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. - Thomas Leonard

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them. - Brendan Francis

Baloney is the unvarnished lie laid on so thick you hate it. Blarney is flattery laid on so thin you love it. - Fulton J Sheen

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. - Bertrand Russell

Desire is the key to motivation. It is the key to develop a healthy personality and a positive attitude towards oneself and others. - Amit Abraham

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


Lecture Meal

Tornado House

This Is A Window

Cut Weight

Forever Round

All Mine

Bottle Support

Falls Trail Tree

Going Green

Ukrainian Model T

Fencing Down Under

Croc Diet

Pulley Car

Hotel Annex

Beetle Collection

Egg Timer

Shell Sink

Wicked Wok Catch

Tight Tractor

Been Lapped

Family Jewels

WalMart Math

RoostHair

Big Deluge Ahead