#1 humor site on the 'net

Need More Horsepower?

How to add more horsepower to your engine

Need More Horsepower? thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
I should like to be a horse. - Queen Elizabeth II

Act like a horse. Be dumb. Just run. - Unknown

Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. - Groucho Marx

Lend a horse, and you may have back his skin. - English Proverb

A unicorn is just a horse with a point of view. - Ron Sexsmith

What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire. - Stanley Kunitz

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey. - Arigo Saachi

A rabbit's foot is a poor substitute for horse sense. - Unknown

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

Don't worry about the horse being blind, just load the wagon. - John Madden

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window. - Unknown

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running. - Zig Ziglar

It's too late to close the stable door after the horse has bolted. - French Proverb

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. - WC Fields

It is sometimes as dangerous to be run into by a microbe as by a trolley car. - J.J. Walsh

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse. - Archie Bunker

Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on. - Robert Frost

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. - Emperor Charles V

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live. - Henny Youngman

You've got to concentrate on one idea. You can't ride a horse with two asses. - Joe Segal

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. - Danny McGoorty

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. - Woody Allen

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

A fly, Sir, may sting a stately horse and make him wince; but, one is but an insect, and the other is a horse still. - Samuel Johnson

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor


Redneck Deer Stand

Bucket Seat

Security Camera Setup

Smithton Stoneys

Hearse Parking

Just Saying Goodbye

Golden End of the Rainbow

Redneck Shower

Thank You For Driving

Debbie's Fridge

Just Be Ugly

Ex-Benedict

Scubaru

Irish Handcuffs

Irish Flu Shots

Wee Shamrock

Irish Flood

Truck Art

Going Green for Ireland

Queen's Recent Visit to Ireland

Garage Watchdog

Front and Back Beetle

Mac Mailbox

What's That Smell?