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Redneck House Cleaning

Now Bubba digs housework!

Redneck House Cleaning thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
An old man in a house is a good sign. - Benjamin Franklin

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung. - Colin Farrell

In the haunted house of life, art is the only stair that doesn't creak. - Tom Robbins

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

If you want to see me, come over anytime. If you want to see my house, make an appointment. - Unknown

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

God gives men wisdom as he gives them gold; his treasure house is not the mint, but the mine. - Arabic Proverb

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus

Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. - Phyllis Diller

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

Talking is a hydrant in the yard and writing is a faucet upstairs in the house. Opening the first takes the pressure off the second. - Robert Frost

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door, greet him with, "Who could have done this? We have no enemies." - Phyllis Diller

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion... I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon

Charity is a very personal equation, like we say charity begins at home. It starts with your immediate help in the house: the people who work for you. - Malaika A. Khan


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