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Redneck House Cleaning

Now Bubba digs housework!

Redneck House Cleaning thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
A road to a friend's house is never long. - Danish Proverb

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

He'd go through the house like Typhoon Mary. - Archie Bunker

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

Hot flushes and mentalpause. House of ill refute. - Archie Bunker

Since the house is on fire let us warm ourselves. - Italian Proverb

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. - George Carlin

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

At worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. - Rose Macaulay

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

I bought a house on a one-way dead-end road. I don't know how I got there. - Steven Wright

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. - Ambrose Bierce

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

What is the use of a house if you haven’t got a tolerable planet to put it on? - Henry David Thoreau

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House. - Robin Williams

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

It's not my fault I was dragged out of my house by a mob and forced to predict the weather. - Punxsutawney Phil

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

A woman should cleave into her husband. Right here in this house is where Edith's cleavage belongs. - Archie Bunker

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

The house smelled musty and damp, and a little sweet, as if it were haunted by the ghosts of long-dead cookies. - Neil Gaiman

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

My house is on the median strip of a highway. You don't really notice, except I have to leave the driveway doing 60 MPH. - Steven Wright

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

Science is built of facts the way a house is built of bricks; but an accumulation of facts is no more science than a pile of bricks is a house. - Henri Poincare

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion... I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. - Kurt Vonnegut

This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, "Honey, do this," and "Honey, do that" around the house. - Jim Lemon


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Tearable Puns

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Tree Removal

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The Domino's Effect

Outdoor Pool

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