#1 humor site on the 'net

Redneck House Cleaning

Now Bubba digs housework!

Redneck House Cleaning thanks to Bob Tasse

QuotaBills
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Oscar night at my house is called Passover. - Bob Hope

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

There are no elevators in the house of success. - H.H. Vreeland

It is easier to demolish a house than to build one. - Irish proverb

Without love, the rich and poor live in the same house. - Unknown

He's got that big house to maintain in San Clemency. - Archie Bunker

Better a hundred enemies outside the house than one inside. - Arabic proverb

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I have so much hair, I have a separate wig closet in my house. - Sherri Shepherd

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I will clean house when Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner. - Roseanne Barr

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

I wanted a man who wouldn't stray so I'm dating a guy on house arrest. - Kim Bove

My friend Sam has one leg. I went to his house. I couldn't go up the stairs. - Steven Wright

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

Now that the House of Commons is trying to become useful, it does a great deal of harm. - Oscar Wilde

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

So finally, the great Jefferson, who always reclined to cross my freshhold is into the house. - Archie Bunker

Maybe I'd like to run around the house in my drawers, and with her here, I felt inhabited. - Archie Bunker

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. - Steven Wright

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above, so I never have to go upstairs. - Steven Wright

No guest is so welcome in a friend's house that he will not become a nuisance after three days. - Plautus

Gonna be incrimated... they're gonna keep the ashes around the house in one of them silver urinals. - Archie Bunker

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. - Joan Crawford

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate.
What's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House? - Will Rogers

There's nothing to match curling up with a good book when there's a repair job to be done around the house. - Joe Ryan

I am like a pelican of the wilderness: I am like an owl of the desert. I watch, and am as a sparrow alone upon the house-top. - Bible

One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
Material place. - Emily Dickinson

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck

At fifty, the madwoman in the attic breaks loose, stomps down the stairs, and sets fire to the house. She won't be imprisoned anymore. - Erica Jong

Science is built up with facts, as a house is with stones. But a collection of facts is not more a science than a heap of stones is a house. - Jules Poincare

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. - Steven Wright


Best Friend Theft

Chewie, We're Home

Police Rides

Bird Smoker

Hot Mexican Deals

Coffin Escape

African Airlines

Who Let The Dogs Out?

Autographed Copy

Fresh Air Computing

Porpoise Pilots

Sorry Employees

Sidecar

Middle East Play House

Cadillac Clearance

Don't Believe Everything You Read

Bee Prepared

Stolen Car

Paper Face

End Of The Line

Glass World - Where Plumbers Buy

Sheep in Wool Clothing

Admin Assistant Bird

Game's On