#1 humor site on the 'net

Shelf Ready Sleeper

Kindergarten Napster - anywhere will do!

Shelf Ready Sleeper thanks to Jutta Liesenfeld

QuotaBills
When I rest, I rust. - German Proverb

Now you know the rest of the story. - Paul Harvey

Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds. - JoJo Jenson

The main ingredient of stardom is the rest of the team. - John Wooden

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - Steven Wright

How beautiful it is to do nothing, and then rest afterward. - Spanish Proverb

Sleep... the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - WC Fields

It is the trouble that never comes that causes the loss of sleep. - Charles Austin Bates

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

Man - a creature created at the end of a work week when God was tired. - Mark Twain

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. - Wilson Mizner

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death. - Leonardo da Vinci

The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. - Amelia Earhart

Being a writer is like having homework every night for the rest of your life. - Lawrence Kasdan

A mother's arms are made of tenderness and children sleep soundly in them. - Victor Hugo

Come unto me, all ye who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28

I'm like the kid in kindergarten; I really do send valentines to everyone. - Susie Bright

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. - Mark Twain

I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? - Ernest Hemingway

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. - Dave Barry

Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Death had to take him in his sleep, for if he was awake there'd have been a fight. - Theodore Roosevelt

I object to people running down the future. I intend to live the rest of my life there. - Charles F Kettering

The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. - Robert Frost

Bound by paperwork, short on hands, sleep, and energy... nurses are rarely short on caring. - Sharon Hudacek

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing. - Steven Wright

I can imagine few worse fates than walking around for the rest of one's life wearing a typo. - Anne Fadiman

Closed in a room, my imagination becomes the universe, and the rest of the world is missing out. - Criss Jami

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

It is with books as with men: a very small number play a great part, the rest are lost in the multitude. - Voltaire

Compared with the knowledge to be gleaned from the genome, the whole of the rest of biology is but a thimbleful. - Matt Ridley

Sometimes I feel like a groundhog. I wish that every time I saw my workplace I could just go down the hole and go off to sleep. - Sherry Bane

I hated every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion." - Muhammad Ali

I can't promise that I'll be here for the rest of your life, but I can promise that I'll love you for the rest of mine. - Unknown

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with the window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

No theory is good unless it permits, not rest, but the greatest work. No theory is good except on condition that one use it to go on beyond. - Andre Gide

Never take ecstasy, beer, Bacardi, weed, Pepto Bismol, Vivarin, Tums, Tagamet HB, Xanax and Valium in the same day. It makes it difficult to sleep at night. - Eminem

Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God. - Aeschylus

He was afraid of touching his own wrist. He never attempted to sleep on his left side, even in those dismal hours of the night when the insomniac longs for a third side after trying the two he has. - Vladimir Nabokov


Rooftop Steps

It's Not My Job

Mathematician's Truck

Redneck Baby Stroller

Redneck Estate Sale

Blonde Car Mirror

Corn Maze Warning

Lane Closure

Texting For Dummies

Clever Weather Billboard

Tree Huggers

Australian Construction Security

India Road Assistance

Cow Walking

Cultural Exchange

Meowzart

Bonus Baby

Strawberry Heart

Water Skiing in Russia

Plumber's Party

Hand Face

Moon Harvest

Reach For The High-Hanging Fruit

CheckMate