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Car Stool

Sit down before you hear the high cost of this car!

Car Stool thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How you get it off the lot is your problem...

QuotaBills
Illusion is the first of all pleasures. - Oscar Wilde

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell

What a strange illusion to suppose that beauty is goodness. - Leo Tolstoy

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. - Morticia Addams

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting in his lap; he was in the electric chair. - Rodney Dangerfield

We live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion. The great task in life is to find reality. - Irish Murdoch

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

Worry is like a rocking chair. It will give you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. - Unknown

The illusion that the times that were are better than those that are has probably pervaded all ages. - Horace Greeley

Chair pose is a defiance of spirit, showing how high you can reach even when you're forced down. - Unknown

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison. - WC Fields

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in. - Henny Youngman

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson

Life's golden age is when the children are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car. - Unknown

For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. - Wendy Liebman

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down. - George Carlin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz


Behind Curtain Number One

One More Drop

Changing Priorities

Made His Bed

Dog Sled

Only In Canada - Nosey Moose

Camper Tank

Plane Pushers

Wise Electricity Use

Critter Control

Redneck Ice Fishing

Skeletons In The Closet

Captive Audience Twins

Brew Table

Nailed It Baby

Water Supply

Holding His Own Portraits

Hawaii Scuba Bus

Chicken Pie

Computer Challenged

Swiss Reaper

Original Play Station

Haunted Pancakes

No Neck