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Change Of The Guard - Summer in London thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

What happens in the UK when it stops raining and the sun starts shining

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Even the worst haircut eventually grows out. - Lisa Kogan

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

This is the sort of English up with which I will not put. - Winston Churchill

Every day People straighten up the hair, why not the heart? - Ernesto Guevara

If the French were really intelligent, they'd speak English. - Wilfred Sheed

In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce. - Francesco Caracciolo

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library? - Lily Tomlin

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm. - Alexander Woollcott

If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. - Hillary Clinton

There are ways of singing in English that are not just the same as in French. - Coeur de Pirate

Actually, I comb my hair quite often. Of course, I use an electric toothbrush. - Phyllis Diller

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

The people of England are never so happy as when you tell them they are ruined. - Arthur Murphy

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

Let everyone leave all the guns - British guns and Irish guns - outside the door. - Martin McGuinness

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

There's nothing like an English weirdo. We have the best nutters in the world. - Sharon Osbourne

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair. - Steve Martin

The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. - Garrison Keillor

To cure the British disease with socialism was like trying to cure leukemia with leeches. - Margaret Thatcher

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity. - Oscar Wilde

Do I have a large frog in my hair? I'm worried about the sensation of my brain being eaten. - Joaquin Phoenix

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded. - Steven Wright

To many, no doubt, he will seem blatent and bumptious, but we prefer to regard him as being simply British. - Oscar Wilde

I alone of English writers have consciously set myself to make music out of what I may call the sound of sense. - Robert Frost

If it is good to have one foot in England, it is still better, or at least as good, to have the other out of it. - Henry James

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

Laundry's easier when you live alone. Fifteen minutes before a date, put 'em on, dry 'em with a hair blower. - Elayne Boosler

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

It is Ireland's sacred duty to send over, every few years, a playwright to save the English theatre from inarticulate glumness. - Kenneth Tynan

In England people actually try to be brilliant at breakfast. That is so dreadful of them! Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. - Oscar Wilde

You know, sometimes I feel well and vital in the world, and sometimes I just feel so distressed I want to pull my hair out by the roots. - Sharon Stone

Cricket - a game which the English, not being a spiritual people, have invented in order to give themselves some conception of eternity. - Lord Mancroft

It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes. - Sir Thomas Beecham

Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. - Bill Maher

When I was six, I entered a talent contest. I dyed my hair blond, had a chainsaw and pretended I was Eminem. The old folk weren't expecting that. - Nico Mirallegro


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