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Daddy, Can I Drive?

Training wheels for your high octane child

Daddy, Can I Drive? thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Dad's 'Young Driver' insurance and assurance program

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Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. - Unknown

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly. - Unknown

With kids, the days are long, but the years are short. - John Leguizamo

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead. - Tommy Bolt

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my kids. - Jill Bensley

I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. - Rodney Dangerfield

This is a Jewish cake - they give this to a Jewish kid before he gets circumscribed. - Archie Bunker

A rich person should leave his kids enough to do something, but not enough to do nothing. - Warren Buffet

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult. - Chris Hardwick

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. - George Burns

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

I was a huge bookworm as a kid, and you could usually find me reading something with a dragon on its cover. - Julie Kagawa

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

New Zealand was one of the most beautiful countries to drive through for the scenery and the vast scale of the place. - Louise Nurding

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

To be a successful father... there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

When I was a kid, one cop could have taken care of the whole neighborhood. Now, one cop wouldn't be safe in the neighborhood. - Mike Royko

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

When it comes to hockey, it's been in my blood since I was 3 or 4 years old. I love coaching the kids, especially at that level. - Mario Lemieux

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, "I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out." - Steven Wright

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

Lincolnshire is the Idaho of England. You were either going to drive a tractor for the rest of your life or head for the city to work in a factory. - Bernie Taupin

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell


Double Line Parking

Without Government

Nose For Coke

Crisp Chips

3 Stages Of A Man's Life

Tipsy Crane

Clear View

Redneck Ladder

Home Depot Delivery

Taco Bell Secret Seasoning

Are You OK?

Downchuck

Rickshaw Workout

Tenacity

Annual Meeting of Women Drivers

Bach Flip

Alien Smuggling

The Three Stooges In And Out Of Character

Teamwork

Sorry

Dunking Straw

Vatican Chess

Boot Camp

Hold On, Let Me Catch The Ball