#1 humor site on the 'net

Daddy, Can I Drive?

Training wheels for your high octane child

Daddy, Can I Drive? thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Dad's 'Young Driver' insurance and assurance program

QuotaBills
Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm. - Publilius Syrus

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton

Kids are life's only guaranteed bona fide upside surprise. - Jack Nicholson

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

I had to stop driving my car for a while - the tires got dizzy. - Steven Wright

We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley

Have fun, be active. Ride a bike instead of driving, for example. - Dan Buettner

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. - Bill Maher

To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner

My driving abilities from Mexico have helped me get through Hollywood. - Salma Hayek

Raising kids make most people, including me, grow up at least a little. - Madonna

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if he wanted to be one? - Jackie Mason

When I was a kid, I used to think pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. - Shane Koyczan

Wealthy people miss one of life's greatest thrills: making the last car payment. - Unknown

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son's school overcome a learning disability. - Jason Alexander

Intelligence is like a 4 wheel drive - it allows you to get stuck in more remote places. - Garrison Keillor

The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. - Jay Leno

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

When Henry Ford made cheap, reliable cars people said, 'Nah, what's wrong with a horse?' - Elon Musk

No matter how long we've been together Edith, you still, as the kids say, "turn me over." - Archie Bunker

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

Education makes a people easy to lead, but difficult to drive; easy to govern but impossible to enslave. - Henry Brougham

I was a huge bookworm as a kid, and you could usually find me reading something with a dragon on its cover. - Julie Kagawa

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pick-up truck, and end up with a station wagon. - Tim Allen

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion. - Jack Welch

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Don't let the age on your driver's license determine your season in life. Everyone's growing seasons look a bit different. - Vicki Kuyper

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

Religions, which condemn the pleasures of sense, drive men to seek the pleasures of power. Throughout history power has been the vice of the ascetic. - Bertrand Russell


Shear Dog

Open For Business

This Rocks

Lifting Heavy Objects

Tomato Treat

Wrong Planet

Evaluating Something

Student Driver

Cat Milk

Guitar Pool

Facebook Africa

UniCorn

Less Is More

Taking The Bait

Puppy Circle

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Hair Weavers

Chemical Solutions

Stealth Snake

Coffee Morning

WrenchWare

Pushing The Envelope

Social Media Explained

Pumping Services