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Divorce Defined

Marital bliss squeezed through the hands of a lawyer

Divorce Defined thanks to Mike King

Divorce: from an old Latin word meaning to extract a man's genitals through his wallet

QuotaBills
Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. - Will Rogers

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

OK, if you can get an indepartial judge. - Archie Bunker

We judge of man's wisdom by his hope. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. - Charles Lamb

To live outside the law, you must be honest. - Bob Dylan

Swift justice demands more than just swiftness. - Potter Stewart

There's a strong criminal relement up there. - Archie Bunker

Laws do not persuade just because they threaten. - Seneca

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

Writing laws is easy, but governing is difficult. - Leo Tolstoy

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. - Oscar Wilde

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

If there were no bad people there would be no good lawyers. - Charles Dickens

I've never been in love. I've always been a lawyer. - Unknown

What a cage is to the wild beast, law is to the selfish man. - Herbert Spencer

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

Sometimes justice is at its most merciful when it's blind. - Nancy Gibbs

There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. - Mark Twain

Tragedy: a busload of lawyers going over a cliff with an empty seat. - Unknown

Inside every hardened criminal beats the heart of a ten-year-old boy. - Homer Simpson

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. - Richard Pryor

It's every lawyer's dream to help shape the law, not just react to it. - Alan Dershowitz

The Second Law of Pies: they must be baked, not fried (or boiled, or steamed). - Janet Clarkson

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth. - Patrick Murray

Ethics and equity and the principles of justice do not change with the calendar. - D.H. Lawrence

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet. - Mark Twain

In Islam, the legislative power and competence to establish laws belong exclusively to God. - Ayatollah Khomeini

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin. - Charles Darwin

Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. - Plato

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer. - Will Rogers

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

Man's capacity for justice makes democracy possible, but man's inclination to injustice makes democracy necessary. - Reinhold Niebuhr

One does not, by knowing all the physical laws as we know them today, immediately obtain an understanding of anything much. - Richard Feynman

If we judge ourselves only by our aspirations and everyone else only their conduct we shall soon reach a very false conclusion. - Calvin Coolidge

I sometimes wish that people would put a little more emphasis upon the observance of the law than they do upon its enforcement. - Calvin Coolidge

In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams

Too many young folk have an addiction to superficial things and not enough conviction for substantial things like justice, truth and love. - Cornel West

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille


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