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Divorce Defined

Marital bliss squeezed through the hands of a lawyer

Divorce Defined thanks to Mike King

Divorce: from an old Latin word meaning to extract a man's genitals through his wallet

QuotaBills
Necessity hath no law. - Oliver Cromwell

Justice is truth in action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Agree, for the law is costly. - William Camden

Divorce: fission after fusion. - Rita Mae Brown

Position is nine-tenths of the law. - Archie Bunker

Generosity is the flower of justice. - Nathaniel Hawthorne

All children are essentially criminal. - Denis Diderot

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name. - Steven Wright

Don't judge folks by their relatives. - Unknown

Gravity isn't easy, but it's the law. - Unknown

Do not judge, and you will never be mistaken. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau

I'm trusting in the Lord and a good lawyer. - Oliver North

Alimony is always having to say you're sorry. - Philip Simborg

Let justice be done though the heavens should fall. - John Adams

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers. - Voltaire

I have always fought for concrete facts, for justice. - Fidel Castro

Talk is cheap until you hire a lawyer or an accountant. - Joe Defries

Justice is a law of nature rarely found in human affairs. - Unknown

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

The power of the lawyer is in the uncertainty of the law. - Jeremy Bentham

Ambition is like hunger; it obeys no law but its appetite. - H.W. Shaw

Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. - H L Mencken

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law. - Hubert Humphrey

A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats. - Benjamin Franklin

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

My wife and I are getting remarried. Our divorce didn't work out. - Rodney Dangerfield

Don't judge a book by its cover 'til you've read the book. - Jamie Lee Curtis

A lawyer with his briefcase can steal more than a hundred men with guns. - Mario Puzo

I don't want to know what the law is, I want to know who the judge is. - Roy M. Cohn

It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes. - Sally Field

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. - Bertrand Russell

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. - Robert Louis Stevenson

The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a criminal. - Erich Fromm

I know that this defies the law of gravity, but, you see, I never studied law. - Bugs Bunny

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey, he is obligated to do so. - Thomas Jefferson

Canada is founded upon principles that recognize the supremacy of God and the rule of law. - Stockwell Day

If the laws could speak for themselves, they would complain of the lawyers in the first place. - George Savile

At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst. - Aristotle

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. - Edsgar Dijkstra

I don't want a lawyer to tell me what I cannot do. I hire one to tell me how to do what I want to do. - J P Morgan

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

There's a lot of fake people in the world, but before you judge them, make sure you're not one of them. - Unknown

I have a huge interest in hockey because I grew up in Canada, where it's kind of the law that you love hockey. - Matthew Perry

My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself. - Henny Youngman

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted? - George Carlin

Laws are like spiders' webs which, if anything small falls into them they ensnare it, but large things break through and escape. - Solon

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Norm Crosby

While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free. - Eugene V Debs

The judge asked, "What do you plead?" I said, "Insanity, your honour, who in their right mind would park in the passing lane?" - Steven Wright


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