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IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

Exercise to help you prepare for this year's taxes!

IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener thanks to Bob 'MoSkeeterz' Carroll

Let the government sharpen your pencils

Taxes
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has,
Then let him know
That you won't be done 'til he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me to my doom.”

When he's gone, do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax...

... and just a few more...
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world,
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids...
What happened? Can you spell 'politicians'?
QuotaBills
All politics is local. - Thomas P O'Neil

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. - Haruki Murakami

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain. - WC Fields

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Politicians can't manage. All they can do is talk. - Donald Trump

The secret of politics? Make a good treaty with Russia. - Otto von Bismarck

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. - Martin L. Gross

The hardest thing in the world to understand is income taxes. - Albert Einstein

Smile. It will bring serenity to the most stressful situations. - Garnet Hill

'Tis impossible to be sure of any thing but death and taxes. - Christopher Bullock

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan

Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased - thus do we refute entropy. - Spider Robinson

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

To lodge all power in one party and keep it there is to insure bad government. - Mark Twain

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

You purchase pain with all that joy can give and die of nothing but a rage to live. - Alexander Pope

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

Taxes are the dues that we pay for the privilege of membership in an organized society. - Franklin D Roosevelt

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. - Erma Bombeck

Stress exacerbates any problem, whether it's diabetes, heart trouble, MS, or whatever. - Mary Ann Mobley

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

People want change but not too much change. Finding that balance is tricky for every politician. - Eleanor Clift

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joe-k. - Will Rogers

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Farming looks mighty easy when your plow is a pencil and you're a thousand miles from the corn field. - Dwight D Eisenhower

Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. - José Maria de Eça de Queiroz

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


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