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IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

Exercise to help you prepare for this year's taxes!

IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener thanks to Bob 'MoSkeeterz' Carroll

Let the government sharpen your pencils

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has,
Then let him know
That you won't be done 'til he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me to my doom.”

When he's gone, do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax...

... and just a few more...
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world,
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids...
What happened? Can you spell 'politicians'?

All politics is applesauce. - Will Rogers

Politics have no relation to morals. - Niccolo Machiavelli

Under every stone lurks a politician. - Aristophanes

Crime does not pay as well as politics. - Alfred E. Newman

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

God is a concept by which we measure our pain. - John Lennon

Practical politics consists in ignoring facts. - Henry Brooks Adams

Death and taxes are unsolved engineering problems. - Romana Machado

I'm not a politician. I've only got one face. - Brendan Behan

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

How much pain have cost us the evils that have never happened. - Thomas Jefferson

We have the best government in the world... that money can buy. - Mark Twain

History is a tool used by politicians to justify their intentions. - Ted Koppei

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea. - Walter Bagehot

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. - Will Rogers

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan

Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain. - Joseph Campbell

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office. - Will Rogers

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. - Will Rogers

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast. Turned out to be a trick knee. - Phyllis Diller

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

Ideas are great arrows, but there has to be a bow. And politics is the bow of idealism. - Bill Moyers

Everyone wants to eat at the government's table, but nobody wants to do the dishes. - Werner Finck

You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea. - Pearl S. Buck

Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. - John Quinton

Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

One of the key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace, good people don't go into government. - Donald Trump

Only government can take perfectly good paper, cover it with perfectly good ink and make the combination worthless. - Milton Friedman

Taxpayer - someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private industry. - Joseph Heller

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

In Mexico, an air-conditioner is called a "politician" because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well. - Len Deighton

The workers' and peasants' government proposes to all warring peoples... negotiations leading to a just, democratic peace. - Lenin

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other. - Voltaire

I am quite sure now that often in matters concerning religion and politics, a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkeys. - Mark Twain

Ever occur to you why some of us can be this much concerned with animals suffering? Because government is not. Why not? Animals don't vote. - Paul Harvey

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy

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