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IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener

Exercise to help you prepare for this year's taxes!

IRS Middle Class Pencil Sharpener thanks to Bob 'MoSkeeterz' Carroll

Let the government sharpen your pencils

Taxes
Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways to tax his ass.

Tax all he has,
Then let him know
That you won't be done 'til he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till he's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he's laid.

Put these words upon his tomb,
“Taxes drove me to my doom.”

When he's gone, do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax...

... and just a few more...
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago...
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world,
and Mom stayed home to raise the kids...
What happened? Can you spell 'politicians'?
QuotaBills
My own tax expert, H & R Crock. - Archie Bunker

There is no gambling like politics. - Benjamin Disraeli

I am not a politician, but a soldier. - Idi Amin

The gun is not out of Irish politics. - Ian Paisley

Where a man feels pain he lays his hand. - Dutch Proverb

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes. - Chris Rock

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Man is not free unless government is limited. - Ronald Reagan

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

A government of law is a government of lawyers. - Saying

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Politics is not a game. It is an earnest business. - Winston Churchill

Politics is the art of controlling your environment. - Hunter S. Thompson

The art of government is the organization of idolatry. - George Bernard Shaw

Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory. - John Kenneth Galbraith

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians. - Charles de Gaulle

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

The tax collector must love poor people, he's creating so many of them. - Bill Vaughan

The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. - P.J. O'Rourke

The flood of money that gushes into politics today is a pollution of democracy. - Theodore White

A filmmaker we almost lost to politics... my friend and colleague, Warren Beatty. - Jack Nicholson

A good politician, under democracy, is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. - H L Mencken

My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live. - Kanye West

Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business. - Tom Robbins

Of all the tasks of government, the most basic is to protect its citizens from violence. - John Foster Dulles

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare. - Daniel P Moynihan

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. - Thomas Jefferson

Politics, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Then she thought bitterly that it would be much easier to resist chocolate if her life were less stressful. - J K Rowling

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians. - Henrik Ibsen

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is opportunity for growth. - Unknown

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran


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