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It's A Cracker

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Laughter is contagious. - Unknown

Nobody ever died of laughter. - Max Beerbohm

The gods too are fond of a joke. - Aristotle

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

Pulled pork jokes never get old. - Joel Edgerton

If it gets laughs, it's funny. - Rachel Dratch

When the age is in, the wit is out. - William Shakespeare

You got a very warfed sense of humor. - Archie Bunker

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live. - Milton Berle

I'm not funny. What I am is brave. - Lucille Ball

A day without laughter is a day wasted. - Charlie Chaplin

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing. - Mark Twain

Make us laugh and you can pick all pockets. - Clemence Dane

Not by wrath does one kill but by laughter. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

I think God has a tremendous sense of humor. - Rainn Wilson

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial. - James Joyce

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman

Plant smiles
Grow laughter
Harvest love - Unknown

Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. - Mark Twain

The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it. - WC Fields

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. - Unknown

The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them. - Moliere

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. - Woody Allen

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh. - Jay Leno

Men will let you abuse them only if you make them laugh. - Henry Ward Beecher

You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. - Tina Fey

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

Menopause: you have to laugh or you'll end up crying. - Missa Says

If you want to give God a good laugh, tell Him your plans. - Yiddish Proverb

A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin

The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. - Mark Twain

If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

A sense of humour is the ability to laugh at one's self. - Charlie Chaplin

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. - Jack Handey

I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me. - Art Buchwald

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

For thirty years my act consisted of one joke. And then she died. - George Burns

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh - at yourself. - Ethel Barrymore

Isn't it funny that anything the Supreme Court says is right? - Robert Frost

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain. - Edward de Bono

The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense. - Jacob Riis

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. - Irvin S. Cobb

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. - Fred Allen

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. - William Arthur Ward

The next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. - Frank A. Clark

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman, and a pretty girl. - Charlie Chaplin

Good humor is one of the best articles of dress one can wear in society. - William Thackeray

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? - George Carlin

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. - Langston Hughes

If you are not allowed to laugh in heaven, I don't want to go there. - Martin Luther

What a fine comedy this world would be if one did not play a part in it. - Denis Diderot

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. - Will Rogers

Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter. - Joseph Addison

If the cavemen had known how to laugh, history would have been different. - Oscar Wilde

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost. - Milton Berle

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist. - Joseph Heller

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

Humor does not diminish the pain - it makes the space around it get bigger. - Allen Klein

Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it. - G K Chesterton

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humour. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow; there is no humor in Heaven. - Mark Twain

You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humor teaches tolerance. - W Somerset Maugham

Humour is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood. - Mary Hirsch

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. - Mahatma Gandhi

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

Blessed is the man who can laugh at himself, for he will never cease to be amused. - Proverb

You may have heard some funny comedians in your time - Milton Berlin, Don Trickles. - Archie Bunker

Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing. - Allen Klein

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. - Thomas Szasz

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused. - Unknown

One can never speak enough of the virtues, the dangers, the power of shared laughter. - Francoise Sagan

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. - Max Eastman

You don't have to teach people to be funny, you only have to give them permission. - Harvey Mindess

Of puns it has been said that they who most dislike them are least able to utter them. - Edgar Allan Poe

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change. - Unknown

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. - Tina Fey

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me. - Robert Frost

The young man who has not wept is a savage, and the old man who will not laugh is a fool. - George Santayana

I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor. - Peter Segal

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing. - Ronnie Barker

Don't get your knickers in a knot. Nothing is solved and it just makes you walk funny. - Kathryn Carpenter

Man alone suffers so excruciatingly in the world that he was compelled to invent laughter. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. - Langston Hughes

One should take good care not to grow too wise for so great a pleasure of life as laughter. - Joseph Addison

When I first said I wanted to be a comedian, everyone laughed. They're not laughing now. - Bob Monkhouse

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. - Will Rogers

Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of our superiority to all that befalls us. - Romain Gary

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. - Sid Caesar

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it. - E.B. White

This I conceive to be the chemical function of humor: to change the character of our thought. - Lin Yutang

There are three basic rules for great comedy. Unfortunately no-one can remember what they are. - Arthur Smith

Blessed is he who has learned to laugh at himself, for he shall never cease to be entertained. - John Powell

Some people say my humor focuses too much on stereotypes. It doesn't. It focuses on facts. - Sarah Silverman

The joke was lost on the foreigner - guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke. - Mark Twain

Transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, even humor, work in businesses at all times. - John Gerzema

We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us. - Charles Bukowski

Those who don't know how to weep with their whole heart, don't know how to laugh either. - Golda Meir

If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor. - Jennifer Jones

You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it. - Allen Klein

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. - Thomas W. Higginson

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose. - Garrison Keillor

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. - Virginia Woolf

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. - Ambrose Bierce

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. - Bob Newhart

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. - George Orwell

Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which before their union were not perceived to have any relation. - Mark Twain

Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to. - George Saunders

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me. - Chevy Chase

Mark my words, when a society has to resort to the lavatory for its humour, the writing is on the wall. - Alan Bennett

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin

You have a choice in this world, I believe, about how to tell sad stories, and we made the funny choice. - John Green

The man who can make others laugh secures more votes for a measure than the man who forces them to think. - Malcolm de Chazal

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them. - Robert Benchley

You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful. - Bob Hope

Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. - Mark Twain

When hungry, eat your rice; when tired, close your eyes. Fools may laugh at me, but wise men will know what I mean. - Lin-Chi

I have never understood why it should be considered derogatory to the Creator to suppose that he has a sense of humor. - Ralph Inge

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. - Groucho Marx

I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. - Anne W. Schaef

Whatever you have read I have said is almost certainly untrue, except if it is funny, in which case I definitely said it. - Tallulah Bankhead

From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining. - Leonard Bernstein

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. - Kahlil Gibran

Milton, for sixty years you've entertained us, and you've made us laugh, and we say to you, 'Milton, do it again. - Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

The satirist shoots to kill while the humorist brings his prey back alive and eventually releases him again for another chance. - Peter De Vries

We are in the world to laugh. In purgatory or in hell we shall no longer be able to do so. And in heaven it would not be proper. - Jules Renard

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - Clive James

The man with the real sense of humor is the man who can put himself in the spectator's place and laugh at his own misfortune. - Bert Williams

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain. - Rick Baker

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, and a sense of humor was provided to console him for what he is. - Horace Walpole

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - W H Auden

No one has timing like Milton Berle. He has absolutely the finest timing of any comedian in the business. There's no one like him. - Sid Caesar

Keep your sense of humor. There's enough stress in the rest of your life to let bad shots ruin a game you're supposed to enjoy. - Amy Alcott

Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. - James Thurber

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. - Maya Angelou

There is not less wit, not less invention, in applying rightly a thought one finds in a book, than in being the first author of that book. - Pierre Boyle

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

Smiling is definitely one of the best beauty remedies. If you have a good sense of humor and a good approach to life, that's beautiful. - Rashida Jones

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. - Criss Jami

Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind. - E.B. White

If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it off; and if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved. - J. Russell Lynes


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