#1 humor site on the 'net

Making Light of Christmas

A quick way to put up the Christmas lights this year

The wife has been on my case to get the Christmas lights up for a couple of weeks. They are up now and for some reason she will not talk to me...

Making Light of Christmas thanks to Roy Taylor

Get holiday lights installed on your house by pros

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Put the light out, and all women are alike. - German Proverb

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

A proverb is much light condensed in one flash. - Simmons

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. - Charles Barkley

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

Halloween starts earlier and earlier, just like Christmas. - Robert Englund

It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness. - Chinese Proverb

There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. - William Butler Yeats

Stay the course, light a star, change the world where'er you are. - Richard Le Gallienne

I have a feeling my Check Liver Light may come on this weekend. - Unknown

May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out. - JRR Tolkien

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own. - Unknown

Treat your friends as you do your pictures, and place them in their best light. - Jennie Jerome Churchill

There is a light at the end of the tunnel... hopefully its not a freight train! - Mariah Carey

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. - Edith Wharton

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

Usually a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. - Jeremy Clarkson

As an actor you become that lighting rod between the person who made the play and the audience. - Christopher Walken

The art of art, the glory of expression, and the sunshine of the light of letters, is simplicity. - Walt Whitman

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

The next woman who gets hold of me is gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars. - Jack Nicholson

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Blaise Pascal

I think that most people would rather face the light of a real enemy than the darkness of their imagined fears. - Max Brooks

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. - Garrison Keillor

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright

Disability is a way of getting some extremity, some kind of very difficult situation, that throws an interesting light on people. - Mark Haddon

Remembering that each of us will take our turns in darkness and in light, let us be light for one another when the darkness falls. - Unknown

My candle burns at both ends,
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light! - Edna St Vincent Millay

You can tell it's good if you light it and a blue flame comes up; that means it's good moonshine and it won't make you go blind. - Johnny Knoxville

The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn and shine with increasing clearness on your path. - Jim Rohn

If I could store lightnings in jars, I'd sell them to sick fireflies to light their way. Only they have nothing to pay for it with but life. - Will Advise

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster

Think while walking, walk while thinking, and let writing be but the light pause, as the body on a walk rests in contemplation of wide open spaces. - Frederic Gros


Too Soon

Rap Piano

Vacuum Extender

Makeup Mirror

Sun Son Power

That Was Zen

My Kind Of Marathon

Water Couch

Bus Head Rest

How Cumulus Clouds Are Formed

Octopie

How To Cook A Deer

I Love Tuba

Dogtor

Mal Nutrition

Jogging Bike

Bathroom Privacy Screen

Science World

Solemate

Chick Incubator

New Element Discovered

Spaghetti Cooker

Elephant Sunset

Tumbleweed Hairstyle