#1 humor site on the 'net

Politician Training

How to become a politician & fleece your consituents

Politician Training thanks to Ken Ward

New ethics training for politicians baaaaa-d for morale

QuotaBills
Man is by nature a political animal. - Aristotle

Everybody knows politics is a contact sport. - Barrack Obama

Political correctness is tyranny with manners. - Charlton Heston

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Most bad government results from too much government. - Thomas Jefferson

The problem with political jokes is they get elected. - Henry Cate, VII

There can be no wise politics without thought beforehand. - Annie Besant

Government always finds a need for whatever money it gets. - Ronald Reagan

Poetry is about the grief. Politics is about the grievance. - Robert Frost

A society of sheep must in time beget a government of wolves. - Bertrand de Jouvenel

A government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top. - James Reston

War has rules, mud wrestling has rules - politics has no rules. - Ross Perot

An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. - Simon Cameron

Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor. - Lady Bird Johnson

Every woman dreams of her own political career and her own place in life. - Raisa M. Gorbachev

In politics, madame, you need two things: friends, but above all an enemy. - Brian Mulroney

Government can't give us anything without depriving us of something else. - Henry Hazlitt

Either the government will be given to us or we shall seize it by marching on Rome. - Benito Mussolini

I love Canada. I am from Canada. I will bash the Canadian government but never Canada. - Jason Priestley

What is the first part of politics? Education. The second? Education. And the third? Education. - Jules Michelet

A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them. - P.J. O'Rourke

Get thee glass eyes;
And, like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. - William Shakespeare

Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev

When government accepts responsibility for people, then people no longer take responsibility for themselves. - George Pataki

Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning "many"; and tics, meaning "bloodsucking creatures." - Robin Williams

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. - John Kenneth Galbraith

The hardest thing about any political campaign is how to win without proving that you are unworthy of winning. - Theodor Adorno

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. - Plato

Canada's political parties spend a few years in opposition and then govern as if it's permanent payback time. - Bob Rae

What is politics but persuading the public to vote for this and support that and endure these for the promise of those? - Gilbert Highet

If the government was as afraid of disturbing the consumer as it is of disturbing business, this would be some democracy. - Kin Hubbard

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Very few of these panic-mongers have any personal knowledge of the countries that are already under blackshirt government. - Lord Rothermere

The punishment which the wise suffer who refuse to take part in the government, is to live under the government of worse men. - Plato

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book. - Ronald Reagan

Every country must be absolutely free to adopt the type of economic, political and social system that it considers convenient. - Fidel Castro

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. - Ronald Reagan

NEED now means wanting someone else's money. GREED means wanting to keep your own. COMPASSION is when a politician arranges the transfer. - Joseph Sobran

I once said to my father, when I was a boy, 'Dad we need a third political party.' He said to me, 'I'll settle for a second.' - Ralph Nader

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien


Fear Of Light

Maiden Rock Illusion

Why Men Shouldn't Babysit

Noodle Art

Windows Scoreboard

Mummy Dogs

Swimming Without Getting Your Hair Wet

Media Bondage

Redneck ATV

Duct Tape - for a Prettier World

Don't Get Your Head In A Knot

Cornfield Fishing

Dawn Gone

Highest Human Position In The World

Together Since

You Never Call

CLUMSY Driver

Water Short

Post Research

Motorcycle Taxi

Columbia Street Party

Fly By Meal

Down Day

Hanging Out With Friends