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The trouble with children is that they are not returnable. - Quentin Crisp

Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them. - Lady Bird Johnson

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. - Frederick Douglass

The important things are children, honesty, integrity and faith. - Andy Williams

I continue to stay young, right? I produce children, I stay young. - Donald Trump

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

Your children will become what you are; so be what you want them to be. - Unknown

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light? - Maurice Freehill

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too. - Lionel Kauffman

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

There are only two lasting bequests we can give our children - one is roots, and the other, wings. - Hodding S. Carter

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. - Aristotle

Fathers are like a lighthouse - when there is fog his children can always depend on seeing the light. - Unknown

It's triple the Trump this season... I invited my children, Don Jr. and Ivanka into the boardroom. - Donald Trump

A man who gives his children habits of industry provides for them better than by giving them a fortune. - Richard Whately

One in four kids have either pre-diabetes or diabetes - what I like to call diabesity. How did this happen? - Mark Hyman

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter

Enthusiasm is the inspiration of everything great. Without it no man is to be feared, and with it none despised. - Christian Nevell Bovee

Let early education be a sort of amusement; you will then better be able to find out the natural bent of the child. - Plato

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. - Sam Levenson

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements. - Napoleon Hill

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up. - Will Rogers

A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason; to always be curious; and to fight tirelessly for something. - Paulo Coelho

A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh. - Conan O'Brien

I would be most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves. - Anna Quindlen


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