#1 humor site on the 'net

Wedding Invitation

Regrettable invitation to whatsherface's wedding

Wedding Invitation thanks to Cathy Young

But I'm not bitter!

QuotaBills
Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Marriage is not a word but a sentence. - Unknown

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

A really good detective never gets married. - Raymond Chandler

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers. - Ruth Bell Graham

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Sticking with a marriage. That's true grit, man. - Jeff Bridges

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married. - Queen Elizabeth I

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. - Anne Taylor Fleming

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix. That's why he's never worked. - Phyllis Diller

When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face.
That's the price she has to pay. - Groucho Marx

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. - Rod Stewart

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage. - Sam Kinison

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing. A confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished. - Johann Wolfgang Goethe

Camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. - Yvonne Prinz

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. - Milton Berle


Driving Rain

Eddie Reward

Got Them All

Owlvis Presley

Motorcycle Limo

Runaway Tree

Human Explosion

Air Force Pilots

See You Later

Lunch Admirers

Loo View

Cell Phone Booth

Topless Kate Middleton

Skype Hype

Almost Batman

Cadillac Bike

Donut Decadence

Manmade Beach in Japan

Bacon Bikes

Animal Taxi

Lego Key Holder

Mechanic Apprentice

Redneck Helicopter

Hairy Egg