#1 humor site on the 'net

Bent Baby

Baby On Board or Baby On Bored?

Bent Baby thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

How not to take your baby for a stroll

Bent Baby thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
The Child is father of the Man. - William Wordsworth

Babies are such a nice way to start people. - Don Herold

Infancy conforms to nobody; all conform to it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ever notice how baby shampoo smells like spring? - Toni Sorenson

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself. - Erich Fromm

Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion. - Miguel de Unamuno

If our American way of life fails the child, it fails us all. - Pearl S. Buck

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. - Fran Lebowitz

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J Burke

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant. - Richard J. Ferris

I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film. - Jack Nicholson

My Birth Certificate is so old, it's written in Roman Numerals. - Bill Carter

As a child, the only clear thought I had was "Get candy." - Jerry Seinfeld

The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything. - Frank Sinatra

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth. - Phyllis Diller

Creative play is like a spring that bubbles up from deep within a child. - Joan Almon

It is spring again. The earth is like a child that knows poems by heart. - Rainer M. Rilke

Back then the women had babies, which they called in them days, begatten. - Archie Bunker

The four stages of man are infancy, childhood, adolescence, and obsolescence. - Art Linkletter

As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. - Buddy Hackett

A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Unknown

Seek the wisdom of the ages, but look at the world through the eyes of a child. - Ron Wild

Music has charms to sooth a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak. - William Congreve

The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. - Mary Marsh

The firsts go away - first love, first baby, first kiss. You have to create new ones. - Sarah Jessica Parker

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher

People always ask me, "Were you funny as a child?" Well, no, I was an accountant. - Ellen DeGeneres

I'm beginning to have morning sickness. I'm not having a baby, I'm just sick of morning. - Phyllis Diller

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually. - Steven Wright

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby. - Jim Gaffigan

A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. - Donald Trump

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe. - Marian Wright Edelman

You can be childlike without being childish. A child always wants to have fun. Ask yourself, 'Am I having fun?' - Christopher Meloni

The circumstances of one's birth are irrelevant. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. - Mewtwo

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. - Elizabeth Stone

No one ever wants to see his or her name linked to anything bad. Conscience is like a baby. It has to go to sleep before you can. - Harvey Mackay

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. - Rita Rudner

Life is a child playing around your feet, a tool you hold firmly in your grip, a bench you sit down upon in the evening, in your garden. - Jean Anouilh

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds. - Plato


Less Is More

Taking The Bait

Puppy Circle

Prehistoric Flash Drive

Hair Weavers

Chemical Solutions

Stealth Snake

Coffee Morning

WrenchWare

Pushing The Envelope

Social Media Explained

Pumping Services

Turn Into Lanes

Bull Squirrel

Sleep With Us

One Tough Lady!

Meep Meep

Just Thinking

Boneless Bananas

Fallen Heroes

Best Way To Honor The Fallen

Veterans Day Holiday

Life of Freedom and Peace

It's A Pittance Of Time