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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

I'm so unfamiliar with the gym I call it James. - Chi McBride

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

Restore a man to his health, his purse lies open to thee. - Robert Burton

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Yoga is not just a workout - it's about working on yourself. - Mary Glover

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

Google+ is the gym of social networking: we all join, but nobody actually uses it. - Unknown

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

It isn't failing that spells one's downfall; it's running away, giving up. - Michel Greco

You can outdistance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you. - Rwandan Proverb

We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still. - Mignon McLaughlin

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

Cheerfulness is the best promoter of health and is as friendly to the mind as to the body. - Joseph Addison

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate. - Jarod Kintz

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon


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