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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Of all the 36 alternatives, running away is best. - Chinese Proverb

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. - Caroline Rhea

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Gossip is just news running ahead of itself in a red satin dress. - Liz Smith

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

The way to make money is to buy when blood is running in the streets. - John D. Rockefeller

Fitness needs to be perceived as fun and games or we subconsciously avoid it. - Alan Thicke

I live in California, so I do stand-up paddle board, which is a killer workout. - Ashley Wagner

It was amazing I won. I was running against peace and prosperity and incumbency. - George W. Bush

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

You can outdistance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you. - Rwandan Proverb

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Buddha

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score. - Bill Copeland

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

Being President is a lot like running a cemetery. You've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening. - Bill Clinton

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker


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