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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. - Groucho Marx

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it. - Hank Ketcham

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running. - Zig Ziglar

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. - Leo Buscaglia

After I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office. - Christy Romano

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

I was in the ROTC. Of course, ROTC stood for "Running off to Canada." - Jay Leno

I live in California, so I do stand-up paddle board, which is a killer workout. - Ashley Wagner

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

Google+ is the gym of social networking: we all join, but nobody actually uses it. - Unknown

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"? - George Carlin

It isn't failing that spells one's downfall; it's running away, giving up. - Michel Greco

If you fall out of that window and break both your legs, don't come running to me. - Groucho Marx

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

We waste a lot of time running after people we could have caught by just standing still. - Mignon McLaughlin

Having insurance doesn't guarantee good health outcomes, but it is a critical factor. - Irwin Redlener

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free. - P.J. O'Rourke

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

If you're skinny and you can't play hockey in Canada, you aren't left with a lot of options. I was left with running. - Malcolm Gladwell

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Laughter is a form of internal jogging. It moves your internal organs around. It enhances respiration. It is an igniter of great expectation. - Norman Cousins


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