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Chewing Gum Hazard

Government Health Warning - beware of 'Hemorrhoid Helper' workouts

Chewing Gum Hazard thanks to Wally Zatylny

Hemorrhoid Helper Class - Rectum? Darned near killed 'em!

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Happiness is good health and a bad memory. - Ingrid Bergman

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

Always chase your dreams instead of running from your fears. - Unknown

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it. - Hank Ketcham

Yoga is not just a workout - it's about working on yourself. - Mary Glover

Sleep, riches, and health to be truly enjoyed must be interrupted. - Johann Paul Friedrich Richter

Motivation is the fuel, necessary to keep the human engine running. - Zig Ziglar

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert Hutchins

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown

After exercising I always eat pizza... just kidding. I don't exercise. - Unknown

One of the major goals of health insurance reform is to bring down the cost. - Valerie Jarrett

I went to a haunted house, looked under the kitchen table, and found spirit gum. - Steven Wright

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Google+ is the gym of social networking: we all join, but nobody actually uses it. - Unknown

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches. - Will Rogers

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Look within. Within is the fountain of good, and it will ever bubble up if thou wilt ever dig. - Marcus Aurelius

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

I love running. I’m not into marathons, but I am into avoiding problems at an accelerated rate. - Jarod Kintz

A life coach does for the rest of your life what a personal trainer does for your health and fitness. - Elaine MacDonald

There is no impossibility to him who stands prepared to conquer every hazard. The fearful are the failing. - Sarah J. Hale

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

I've seen so many young men over the years who think they're running at other young men. They are not. They are running at me. - Markus Zusak

I've got this thing for spicy stuff. Now, if you give me hot chocolate with chili pepper, a book and a bubble bath, I'm a happy girl. - Shiloh Walker


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