#1 humor site on the 'net

Christmas Thrones

Getting the low-down on Santa's daily duties

Christmas Thrones thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Christmas Thrones thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

QuotaBills
Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

Hollywood is like Picasso's bathroom. - Candice Bergen

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. - King George V

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I would rather sleep in a bathroom than in another hotel. - Billy Wilder

Modesty is not only an ornament, but also a guard to virtue. - Joseph Addison

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

I threw the kitchen sink at him, but he went to the bathroom and got his tub. - Andy Roddick

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

At Disneyland, you never go 'backstage' - even when you're in the bathroom. - Hideo Kojima

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

If 'ifs and buts' were 'candy and nuts', we'd have Christmas every day. - Unknown

When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied: I wish no gifts, only presence. - Unknown

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

We are each given a limitless capacity to love and attain wisdom. The extent we use these gifts is our choice. - Anthony Douglas

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

Did you read about Starbucks? No more "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks. No more. Maybe we should boycott Starbucks. - Donald Trump

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

Unrest of spirit is a mark of life; one problem after another presents itself and in the solving of them we can find our greatest pleasure. - Kal Menninger

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Lord Francis Bacon


Crosswalk Climber

African Flip Flops

Lion In The Bathtub

Tiring Tire

Foot Wear

Zebra Keyboard

Until We Understand Women

Grizzly Shoot

Historic Texting

4x4 Kitchen Design

World's Largest Sudoku Puzzle

Water Hypnosis

Flu Fashion

Handicap Porch

Underwater Home

Subway Solutions

Grass Room

Row Your Goat

Moment Just Before Being Soaked... @ T - 1

Bridge Claimed Another One

Woman-Riding Man

Thin Polar Bear

Hand Tool

Rainbow Beer