#1 humor site on the 'net

CPU Marshmallows

For the computer with lots of byte

CPU Marshmallows thanks to Bill Fast

QuotaBills
He lights up a room when he leaves it. - Henny Youngman

Computer logic is no substitute for human wisdom. - Unknown

Once there was a tree, and she loved a little boy. - Shel Silverstein

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

Preoccupied with a single leaf you won't see the tree. - Vagabond

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree. - Joyce Kilmer

Native ability without education is like a tree without fruit. - Aristippus

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so. - Robert Orben

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. - Paul Ehrlich

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out. - JRR Tolkien

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. - Ralph Bus

Each has his own tree of ancestors, but at the top of all sits Probably Arboreal. - Robert Louis Stevenson

There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast. - Charles Dickens

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa. - Bart Simpson

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Transplanting the ballet to the United States is like trying to raise a palm tree in Dakota. - Lincoln Kirsten

It's better to fall from a tree and break your back than to fall in love and break your heart. - African Proverb

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal

Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. - Unknown

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I use a computer. I don't know if that qualifies me as a techie, but I'm pretty good on the computer. - Leonard Nimoy

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. - Milton Berle

Except during the nine months before he draws his first breath, no man manages his affairs as well as a tree does. - George Bernard Shaw

Man is the cheapest 150-pound nonlinear, all-purpose computer system which can be mass-produced by unskilled labor. - NASA

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

Just think how far we've come in the 20th Century. The man who used to be a cog in the wheel is now a digit in the computer. - Robert Fuoss

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Only when the last tree has withered, and the last fish caught, and the last river been poisoned, will we realize we cannot eat money. - Cree Proverb

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown


Rabbit Boost

Engine-eering

Mustang Limo

Eye've Been To The Beach

Found The Apple Maps Car

Husband Frosted Cupcakes

Pantastic Crop

Log Haulers

Caffeine Boosters

Where I Live

hAir Force One

Sad Truth About The Oscars

Happy Hour Bike Club

Big Boots To Fill

Redneck Rolling Bottle Sprinkler

Want To Fiddle Around?

Eagle Hunt

Wurst Wi-Fi

Don't Want Your Child To Text And Drive?

Just Need Juan

Bubba's Bubble Wrap

Burst Basketball Court

Apple Car

Bus Legs - Close Shave Bus