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Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook

If she hasn't yet, she soon will...

Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook thanks to Roy Taylor

Secrets of the Serengeti Grill

'Patience is required when hunting humans. If you harvest them at the wrong time they taste like crap.'

QuotaBills
We are here on Earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

When spiderwebs unite, they can halt even the lion. - African Proverb

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

There's a lot involved in going to the bathroom for women. - Leah Remini

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

Sharks are the lions of the sea. They glamorize the oceanic glory. - Munia Khan

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb

Running is an unnatural act, except from enemies and to the bathroom. - Unknown

An optimist is someone who gets treed by a lion but enjoys the scenery. - Walter Winchell

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

When I was younger I used to lock myself in the bathroom and read in the dry tub. - Karen Russell

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime. - Scott Adams

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Therefore, it is necessary to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

With every bathroom renovation, there are three areas that I focus on: budget, function and style. - Candice Olson

I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep. I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion. - Alexander the Great

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

I sleep with a light on in the bathroom so I can see where I'm at, because I wake up and have no clue. - Carrie Underwood

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. - Rita Rudner

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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