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Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook

If she hasn't yet, she soon will...

Excerpt from a Lion Cookbook thanks to Roy Taylor

Secrets of the Serengeti Grill

'Patience is required when hunting humans. If you harvest them at the wrong time they taste like crap.'
QuotaBills
The sexual act was never constipated. - Archie Bunker

Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

Rise and rise again until lambs become lions. - Robin Hood

When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion. - Ethiopian Proverb

I write poems like some people sing in the bathroom. - Amit Bhatia

Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle. - Bob Phillips

The kitchen. The bathroom. The yin and yang of the household. - David C. Holley

The lion is ashamed, it's true, when he hunts with the fox. - Gotthold E. Lessing

That Gerald Ford. He can't fart and chew gum at the same time. - Lyndon B. Johnson

I used to practice Tony speeches in my bathroom with my hairbrush. - Audra McDonald

Sharks are the lions of the sea. They glamorize the oceanic glory. - Munia Khan

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

It is better to live one day as a lion, than a thousand days as lamb. - Roman Proverb

Stress is an important dragon to slay - or at least tame - in your life. - Marilu Henner

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. - Natalie Goldberg

My honeymoon night was spent on the floor in the bathroom with my mother. - Ronnie Spector

I started singing in the bathroom. Nothing was coming out. It was ghastly. - Rod Stewart

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. - Woody Allen

There are two things that Jack Bauer never does. Show mercy, and go to the bathroom. - Kiefer Sutherland

I'd rather be able to face myself in the bathroom mirror than be rich and famous. - Ani DiFranco

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer. - Philip II

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom. - Bob Hope

Vegetarians are cool. All I eat are vegetarians, except for the occasional mountain lion steak. - Ted Nugent

Therefore, it is necessary to be a fox to discover the snares and a lion to terrify the wolves. - Niccolo Machiavelli

I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. - Monty Python Anb The Holy Grail

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. - George Carlin

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. - Eoin Colfer

You don't go walking into the proverbial lion's den lightly. You start with a good breakfast. - Jim Butcher

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

For us in Russia, communism is a dead dog, while, for many people in the West, it is still a living lion. - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

I've posed nude for a photographer in the manner of Rodin's Thinker, but I looked merely constipated. - George Bernard Shaw

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

The tiger, he come up with the tigeress. The lion, he come up with the lionette. The zebra, he come up with the zeberelle. - Archie Bunker

I am sometimes a fox and sometimes a lion. The whole secret of government lies in knowing when to be the one or the other. - Napoleon Bonaparte

I wish I had a nickel for every song that I've left in the bathroom, written down on a matchbox, or just totally forgotten about. - Tommy Shaw

To be a champion, you have to learn to handle stress and pressure. But if you've prepared mentally and physically, you don't have to worry. - Harvey Mackay

My wife was a make-up artist, and she's a total product junkie. Our bathroom is packed full of lotions and potions so I end up trying them out. - Robert Carlyle


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